如何管理容易哭泣的員工（上）

Most managers feel uncomfortable when employees cry during business conversations. Many of us may recall a time we’ve cried at work, but for some people it’s not a rare occurrence. Some individuals seem to react excessively to disappointment or challenge, with repeated bouts of apparent sadness or fear accompanied by tears, shaking, or reddening. If you manage someone who tears up easily, you may find yourself leaving important topics or issues unaddressed to avoid upsetting them.

大多數管理者都對員工在商務對話中的哭泣行爲感到厭惡。我們可能會回憶起自己爲工作哭泣的時候，但對於一些人來說不是罕見的事情。似乎有些人對失望或挑戰反應過大，常常出現明顯的傷心情緒或恐懼，伴隨眼淚，顫抖或臉紅。如果你管理某個很容易哭泣的人，你可能會發現你把重要的話題或事務擱置，從而避免打擊他們。

Some employees are quick to cry because they lack strong self-management skills; they may be embarrassed by their own emotionalism, and grateful for any advice you can offer on keeping a more even keel. Some cry as a form of deflection or manipulation; I’ve worked with a handful of people whose frequent crying served as a first line of defense against criticism. Of course, they may also be handling a tough situation in their personal lives – from illness to difficult family situations. And perhaps the most positive reason for crying occurs when your employee trusts that you have the kind of boss-subordinate relationship where tears are nothing to hide or be ashamed of.

有的員工很容易哭泣，因爲他們沒有強大的自我管理能力；有可能因爲他們被自己的情感主義羞辱了，或者感激你能夠提供的更公平的支撐。有的人因爲失衡或管理能力而哭；我曾與許許多多常哭的人共事，他們的哭泣行爲是他們對批評的第一道防線。當然，他們還可能在處理着許多個人生活中的艱難問題——從疾病到艱難的家庭情況。並且很可能最積極的哭泣理由會在你的員工信任你有一個老闆—下屬直接的關係，這時候眼淚就不應該被壓抑或感到羞恥。

You can’t know what’s going on inside your employee’s head, or whether they cry because they trust you, are trying to manipulate you, or happen to be overwhelmed by personal issues outside of work. If the issue is personal, you may want to refer them to your HR department or your company EAP, so they can get some additional support. Regardless of the cause of their distress, though, you’ll need to find a way to work around – or through – their tears. These six steps will help you and your subordinate keep a humane and professional focus on the work that still needs to get done.

你不知道你的員工在想什麼，或者他們的哭泣是否因爲出於對你的信任，都在試圖操控着你，或剛好被工作以外的個人生活所侵襲。如果這個問題是私人的，你可以把他們介紹到人力資源部門或你的公司的員工幫助計劃中，這樣他們就能獲得更多的支持。不管他們的壓力來源是什麼，你還需要找到方法處理他們的眼淚。以下的六個步驟能夠幫助你以及你的下屬保持一種人性以及專業的工作專注力，那些都是仍需貫徹落實。

1.Don’t overreact to the stimulus of crying. 

1. 不要對哭泣的刺激物過度反應。

Face the employee and keep your body language open and your language neutral; show that you’re paying close attention but not becoming distressed yourself. This is a time not to be empathetic and try to experience what they’re feeling, but to be compassionate and take action because you see that they’re having a hard time.

直面員工，保持肢體語言開放，語言中性；展示你在密切關注着對方但不會感到沮喪。這是一個不表達同情心的時候，嘗試感受他們的感受，也要有同情的感覺，行動起來，因爲你看到你們正在經歷着困難的時刻。

2. Note the trigger.

2. 注意到觸發器。

Rather than asking why the employee is reacting, which can encourage a deep exploration of aggravations and hurt feelings, try to name the concrete, proximate cause: Say something like, “I can see that something just upset you. Was it….?” You want to start out by naming it without delving into it.

與其問一名員工爲何反應這麼激烈，這會加劇憤怒與傷心的感覺，倒不如直接說出明確的、最接近的原因：比如這麼說“我知道有些事情打擊了你，是不是……？”你希望自己開頭說出這件事，而不是鑽牛角尖。