面對難搞的上司，如何見招拆招？
在領導力研習班中，我做了一個兩部分的實驗，首先獲得集體認知，然後捕捉所有經理和高級領導高度重視的行爲，結果引人深思幷包含了預期中的一些要素：
Treat people with respect
尊敬待人
Back words with actions
以行動來說話
Offer constructive input and coaching
提供建設性輸出和指導
Provide developmental opportunities
提供建設性意見
Do not micromanage
不要微觀管理
…and many other positive behaviors.
……以及其他一些積極的行爲。
實驗的流程很順利，掛圖很快被填滿並掛在牆上，人們互相交換有關自己良師幫助自己的故事。在進行了有關高效領導者的討論後，我瀏覽了相關的問題後要求團隊描述和捕捉他們認爲難對付的經理或領導的行爲。（我柔化了問題，因爲問人們誰是兇殘的老闆看起來並不合適！）過了一會後，房間裏的活躍度伴隨這分貝數上升，你可以真切地感受到記錄員和他們的紅筆飛快書寫，因爲他們試圖捕捉每個小組成員對自己遇到的難搞的經理的描述。結果顯示，在我們大部分人的職涯中某個時刻都遇到過難搞的經理。你就認識這麼一個人，他或她只關注結果和數字，而且在任何情況下都不喜歡錶示認同或表現出任何個人的關心。難搞的經理表現出持續的不同意，並經常練習微觀管理行爲，這會加重辦公壓力。注意：我將難搞的經理和盛氣凌人的老闆作了區分。後者隨意辱罵、濫用職權，前者只是在每日共事中讓人頭疼。我們的關注點在於難搞而不是虐人的經理。While it is absolutely not fun working for these individuals, we all encounter them, and in most instances, we are forced to figure out how to survive for a period of time. The question and focus for the remainder of this article is: How do we survive and even thrive while working for the difficult manager?
顯然爲這樣的人工作十分煎熬，我們都遇到過，在大多的實例中，我們被迫找出階段性存活的方式。這篇文章接下來的核心問題在於：如何在爲這些難搞的經理工作中存活下來甚至茁壯成長？
9 Ideas to Help You Survive and Succeed With Your Difficult Manager:
如何應對難搞的經理，這裏爲你提供了9個好主意：
1. Your patience is a powerful ally. The difficult manager’s behaviors bring out some of our own worst behaviors. While it is tempting to snap back or display anger or frustration with the manager’s approach or seeming lack of appreciation for your efforts in a given situation, a better tactic when you feel your emotions boiling over is to bite your tongue and count to 10, 100 or 1,000 depending upon the stress level. Difficult managers I encountered, view these outbursts of emotion as signs of immaturity or even incompetence. Do not pour fuel on a difficult situation by adding your own emotions.
1.你的耐心是強有力的推手。難搞的上司的行爲呈現出我們自己最糟糕的行爲。當你想要反駁、表現出憤怒、對經理的方式感到挫敗或是在特定的場合缺乏你的努力做出肯定時，處理這些爆發的情緒較好的技巧是咬自己的舌頭，根據壓力程度數到10、100或1000。就我遇到的難搞的經理，會把這種爆發的情緒視作不成熟的表現，甚至無法勝任。不要在一個已經很糟糕的環境中再火上澆油。
2. Keep the excuses and problems to yourself. Demanding managers often are monolingual. They only speak one language: the language of results. They don’t care about problems, excuses or obstacles. They expect their team members to run through problems toward results with the same attitude.
2.將藉口和問題留給自己。高要求的經理通常表達方式很單一。他們只說一種語言：以結果爲導向。他們不關心問題，藉口和困難點。他們希望自己的團隊成員以同樣的態度克服問題，直奔結果。
While all of us understand that “stuff happens,” do not expect any sympathy for shortfalls due to extenuating circumstances. To them, it’s all about the scoreboard, not the effort.
我們都能理解這種情況，不要期望他們會對我們的弱項和情有可原的理由抱有同情心。對他們來說，計分板的分數纔是最重要的，而不是努力。
3. Avoid joining the gossip thread. The proverbial watercooler gossip critiquing your difficult manager’s behaviors is a great place to avoid. There are no circumstances you will encounter when it is good to badmouth the boss. You should always assume that the gossip and identity of the gossip mongers will make it back to the boss.
3.避免陷入八卦圈。應當避免散播關於你難搞的經理的流言蜚語。任何情況下，說老闆的壞話都不是好事。你應當承認那些八卦和八卦人的身份早晚會傳到老闆那裏。
4. Turn the tables and figure out what really drives your manager. Is she focused on getting to the next run on the corporate ladder? Is he a long-time employee who has dedicated his life to the firm? Is your area under the microscope by senior management and results are necessary for survival?
4.扭轉形勢，找出真正能夠驅動老闆的點。她是否專注於公司的晉升？他是否是一個資深的老員工將一輩子奉獻給公司？你的工作區域是否在高級管理者的顯微鏡下？結果對生存是必需的？
While many managers are not open about what drives them in general or at a moment in time, it is your job to crack this code. Once you understand your difficult manager’s true interests you can work to identify opportunities to support those interests.
因爲許多經理普遍不會公開自己的目標，所以就需要你去解碼。一旦你發現了老闆的真正利益所在，就可以發現更多機會去支持它。
5. Volunteer for the dirty work. There are always lingering, vexing problems that exist somewhere in the gray zone between functions in an organization. To the extent that solving the gray zone issues supports your manager’s agenda, jump in and organize the resources needed to fix what’s broken. While the boss might not verbalize appreciation, you will most definitely be perceived as more valuable to the team.
5.自願做那些髒活。在一個組織的不同部門間總會有持續不斷的煩人問題。鑑於解決那些灰色地帶的問題可以支持到老闆，積極投入並組織有效資源。儘管老闆也許沒有口頭表示讚賞，但你無疑會被人視作對團隊非常有價值。
6. Do not assume you are not appreciated. The most difficult driving managers value people they can count on to get results. They might not show it or verbalize it but you should not assume your participation is not viewed as important. Don’t preoccupy on earning someone else’s approval—focus on doing everything you can to learn and develop while driving great results.
6.不要假設自己不被肯定。最難駕馭的經理根據結果評估個人。他們也許不會向你展示或告訴你，但你不應該假設你的投入被低估。不要只專注於贏取別人的認同——專注於那些可以讓你在產出結果的同時學習和發展的事情。
7. Use reverse psychology on micromanaging behaviors. If your manager insists on looking over your shoulder, use questions to learn more about how he/she developed expertise in this area? Ask: “You are clearly an expert on this process. How did you develop these skills? Why do you believe your approach is so effective? How can I learn more from you about other processes in our group?” Meet the behavior with your own unique behavior of asking questions that appeal to his/her expertise. Showcase your willingness to serve as the apprentice. It might be uncomfortable, however, it is better than boiling over from this constant shoulder gazing.
7.在微觀管理行爲上採用反向心理。如果你的經理總是盯着你，通過發問去了解他/她是如何在領域內發展成專家的。比如：“你作爲這個領域的專家，你是如何培養這些技術的？爲何你堅信這些方法如此高效？我如何能從你這學到更多團隊的工藝？”通過自己獨特的發問方式去詢問他/她的專業性。更多地展示你作爲學徒的求知慾。這也許並不舒服，但總比你因這種持續的盯梢而發怒來得好。
8. Do not believe you need to become friends with your boss. Many prefer to operate at a very safe distance from those they work with. Your unwelcome attempts at asserting friendship will just aggravate your boss and the situation. Find your friends elsewhere.
8.不要相信你需要和你的老闆成爲朋友。很多人喜歡和工作同事保持一個安全的距離。這種對於友誼不受歡迎的嘗試會激怒你的老闆和辦公環境，不如在其他地方尋找朋友吧。
9. Share genuine appreciation for the lessons you are learning. It is disarming to laser-focused people to be told they are appreciated. If you are genuinely learning something in your role, offer a thank you for the opportunity. You might just see this emotional iceberg of a manager melt a bit.
9.對你得到的教訓報以最坦誠的感激。對於聚光燈之下的人來說，被告知受到讚賞是使人消氣的。如果你真的從你的角色中學到一些東西，對這個機會表示感謝。也許你會看見經理的情緒冰山被融化少許。
The Bottom Line:
總結：
We all have to work for someone, and occasionally that someone is demanding and difficult. If you like your work and your coworkers, don’t let the difficult manager drive you away. Instead, adjust your attitude, redouble your patience and focus on the opportunity to contribute and grow in an environment where performance is the only thing that counts. It might seem sterile and it might not be your preferred approach, but it can be a powerful learning experience.
我們都得爲某人工作，有時會遇上麻煩難對付的人。如果你喜歡你的工作和你的同事，不要讓你的麻煩經理把你趕走。反之，調整你的態度，加強你的耐心，當你的表現是最重要的指標時，專注於那些能夠出力和成長的機會。也許這看起來沒什麼效果，也可能並非你偏好的方式，但這可以作爲強有力的學習經歷。
