永遠別對孩子說這些話大綱

It's my way or the highway

你愛聽不聽

According to a study done at the University of New Hampshire, children of authoritarian parents-ones who demand compliance from children without an explanation of why they've established rules and standards-are more likely to be disrespectful and get themselves into trouble. They say having rules is fine, but respectful, two-way communication with your kids is also important.

新罕布什爾大學所做的一項研究表明，獨裁父母所教出來的孩子--不解釋自己爲什麼設立這樣的規則和標準就要求孩子遵守的父母--更有可能不尊重他人，或者惹上麻煩。研究員說設定規則沒問題，但一定要尊重他人，與孩子的雙向交流也很重要。

You should be ashamed of yourself

你該爲自己感到羞恥

Not only is shame unhealthy for people of all ages, it can make kids who have high self-esteem act aggressively, according to researchers at the University of Michigan. Narcissistic kids feel more threatened when they're shamed, leading them to lash out and respond defensively.

密歇根大學的研究員表示，羞恥感不僅不利於任何年齡段人羣的健康，而且還會讓自尊心強的小孩充滿攻擊性。感到羞恥時，自戀的小孩會感到更多的威脅，從而導致他們帶有攻擊性的回擊、反應。

You're perfect

你很完美

If your child has low self-esteem, you might think it's a great idea to praise them highly when they do something well. Not so, says Brad Bushman, professor of communication and psychology at Ohio State. Instead, it might make them anxious about having to meet high standards, which can lead to avoiding new challenges.

如果你的孩子自尊心低，那你可能會覺得在他們表現優異時大肆表揚他們是個好方法。但事實並非如此，俄亥俄州立大學傳播與心理學教授布拉德·布希曼說道。相反，這樣做可能會讓他們焦慮，覺得自己一定要達到高標準，從而不想迎接新挑戰。

You're so special

你很特別

Naturally, many parents think their children are special. But telling a child they are better or more deserving of success than other kids can turn them into a little narcissist, according to research done at Ohio State University. Narcissism isn't just garden-variety high self-esteem, but the belief that others are not as good.

當然，很多家長都認爲自己的孩子很特別。但告訴孩子他們比其他孩子更棒，或者更值得成功卻會讓他們變得有點小自戀，俄亥俄州立大學的研究表示。自戀不僅僅是一般的自尊心強，而且還認爲其他人沒那麼好。

You'll always be my little girl/boy

你永遠都是爸媽的小公主/小王子

It's natural for parents to want to protect their kids from harm. But it's important to help them develop the skills needed to grow into independent adults. Otherwise, say University of Granada researchers, they may develop "Peter Pan syndrome": the desire to stay in adolescence forever, avoiding life's responsibilities and challenges.

父母想要保護自己的小孩不受傷害，這很正常。但幫助他們學習獨立成年人所需的技能也是很重要的。否則，格拉納達大學的研究人員說道，他們可能會發展"彼得潘綜合症"：希望自己一直停留在青春期，逃避生活中的責任和挑戰。

Everything's OK-I'm not upset

一切都很好--我沒有不高興

Parents are often advised not to let their children see when they're upset. But a new study from the University of Toronto says hiding feelings can impede a "high quality parent-child bond" and also make the parent feel worse. Researchers say gently acknowledging the feelings in terms a child can understand may be the better approach.

家長經常聽到這樣的建議：不要讓孩子看到自己不高興的一面。但多倫多大學的一項新研究表明：隱藏情感會阻礙"濃厚的親子關係"，也會讓父母的感受更糟。研究員說，以孩子能懂的方式委婉的承認自己的感受可能會更好。