坎迪絲凱恩 變性路上的光榮與夢想
Long before Laverne Cox made the cover of Time magazine as a “transgender tipping point,” and long before Caitlyn Jenner made global headlines as a former Olympian transitioning from male to female at age 65, there was Candis Cayne.
早在拉韋恩·考克斯(Laverne Cox)作爲“變性人引爆點”登上《時代》(Time)雜誌封面之前，早在作爲前奧運會選手的凱特琳·詹納(Caitlyn Jenner)在65歲時變成女兒身成爲全球頭條新聞之前，坎迪絲·凱恩(Candis Cayne)就已經進入公衆視野。
The 5-foot-10 Hawaiian beauty ruled the New York club scene for more than a decade before moving to Hollywood in 2007. There, Ms. Cayne became the first transgender actress to appear on network TV.
這位身高5英尺10英寸（約合1.77米）的夏威夷美女稱首紐約俱樂部舞臺十多年，2007年進軍好萊塢。在那裏，凱恩成爲第一位出現在電視上的變性女演員。
She was cast on ABC’s “Dirty Sexy Money,” opposite William Baldwin as a transgender woman having an affair with a married politician. She appeared on “Good Morning America,” where Robin Roberts said she was “blazing a path” for transgender visibility.
她在ABC頻道的《黑金家族》(Dirty Sexy Money)中與威廉·鮑德溫(William Baldwin)演對手戲，飾演一位與已婚政客有染的變性女人。她還在《早安美國》(Good Morning America)中亮相，羅賓·羅伯茨(Robin Roberts)說她爲變性人能更多的被社會所關注“照亮了道路”。
The spotlight did not last. After “Dirty Sexy Money” was canceled, Ms. Cayne largely faded from public view. But in recent weeks she has re-emerged on a larger stage.
但是公衆的關注沒能一直持續下去。《黑金家族》停播後，凱恩基本上從公衆視野中消失了。但是最近幾周，她又重新出現在更大的舞臺上。
She appeared on the cover of Star Magazine, was interviewed by People magazine, has appeared in innumerable tabloid blog posts and was the grand marshal at the Gay Pride Parade in Montreal.
她登上《明星》雜誌(Star)的封面；接受《人物》雜誌(People)的採訪；出現在無數小報的博客文章中；擔任蒙特利爾同性戀傲嬌大遊行(Gay Pride Parade)的大禮官。
The source of this sudden attention is E!’s “I Am Cait,” in which Ms. Cayne, 44, has emerged as the unlikely confidante of Ms. Jenner, accompanying her on trips to San Francisco to meet with gay and transgender activists and escorting her to the ESPY Awards in New York.
她突然之間獲得的關注源於E!的真人秀節目《我是凱特》(I Am Cait)，44歲的凱恩在其中不可思議地以詹納的閨蜜身份現身，多次陪她去舊金山與同性戀和變性人活動家們會面，護送她去紐約接受ESPY獎。
There have also been rumors of a romantic spark, though it’s hard not to be skeptical that the story line was manufactured by E! producers to gin up tabloid interest. Indeed, a recent teaser posted by E! is called “Caitlyn Jenner Gets Asked Out on a Date,” although the actual clip just shows Ms. Jenner going to Ms. Cayne’s house for a glass of wine.
也有傳聞說，她們之間擦亮了愛的火花，但是人們很難不去懷疑，這個故事是E!的製作人們爲了引發小報興趣而編出來的。的確，前不久，《E!》發佈了一個預告片，名叫《凱特琳·詹納應邀赴約》(Caitlyn Jenner Gets Asked Out on a Date)，而實際上，那個片段只是詹納去凱恩家喝葡萄酒。
And earlier this month, Star published a photo of Ms. Cayne on its cover, with the headline: “Caitlyn Jenner: I’m in Love.”
本月早些時候，《明星》雜誌在封面上登出凱恩的照片，標題是“凱特琳·詹納：我戀愛了”。
Ms. Cayne is savvy enough to know a good tabloid story, so when asked about the relationship, she simply offers, “I can say Caitlyn and I have become close, and we’re great friends.”
凱恩很精明，知道這是很好的小報故事，所以當被問及她們的關係時，她只說，“可以說，我和凱特琳很親密，我們是好朋友。”
On a recent Wednesday, Ms. Cayne was running around a spacious house in the Hollywood Hills, where a photographer was taking publicity shots for her newfound fame.
前不久的一個週三，凱恩在好萊塢山的一所寬敞的房子裏到處遊逛，一位攝影師在爲她在公衆中的新形象拍攝宣傳照片。
There were sequins in every shade of the rainbow and dresses made out of peacock feathers. But it was her hair — long and blond and blown out to perfection, the sort beauty queens try to emulate — that completed the look.
現場有各種顏色的亮片和用孔雀羽毛做成的連衣裙。不過，是她的頭髮讓造型變得完美——她長長的金髮吹得很完美，是選美皇后們努力追求的髮型。
“It’s my showgirl moment,” Ms. Cayne said. “This dress I’m wearing now has a kind of ‘Viva Las Vegas’ vibe.”
“這是我的歌舞女郎時間，”凱恩說，“我現在穿的連衣裙有一種‘拉斯維加斯萬歲’的感覺。”
Growing up in Maui in the early 1980s as Brendan McDanniel, things were a little more crunchy granola. Her parents were teachers and progressives who had few issues when, as a teenage boy, their son came out as gay. It would be several more years before Ms. Cayne came to terms with her gender identity.
坎迪絲·凱恩原名布倫丹·麥克丹尼爾(Brendan McDanniel)，20世紀80年代初在毛伊島長大，那裏相對開明。他的父母都是教師，也是進步人士。當十幾歲的兒子出櫃時，他們幾乎沒有表示異議。幾年後，凱恩才弄清自己的性別身份。
Shortly after high school, Ms. Cayne moved to New York in hopes of becoming a professional dancer. She lived in a single-room occupancy hotel in the then-seedy meatpacking district; went on scholarship at Steps, a dance studio on the Upper West Side; and worked as a kitty girl at the Roxy, a former gay club in Chelsea.
高中畢業後不久，凱恩搬到紐約，希望能成爲一名職業舞蹈演員。她住在當時比較髒亂破舊的肉庫區的一個單人套房旅館裏，後來獲得了上西區舞蹈班Steps的獎學金，在切爾西的前同性戀俱樂部Roxy裏做貓女郎(kitty girl)。
“I had a tray and I would sell candy, cigarettes and lollipops,” she said. “And then I realized I loved doing drag.”
“我拿着一個托盤，賣糖果、香菸和棒棒糖，”她說，“然後我發現自己喜歡變裝。”
There, Ms. Cayne fell in with Lina Bradford, also known as the “gender illusionist” Girlina, and the two became inseparable. Ms. Cayne worked by day at the wig bar at Patricia Field’s boutique in Greenwich Village, and performed by night with Ms. Bradford at Boy Bar in the East Village and the Tunnel in Chelsea.
在那裏，凱恩偶然結識了莉娜·布拉德福德(Lina Bradford)，後者也被稱爲“性別魔術師”格莉娜(Girlina)，她們倆形影不離。白天，凱恩在格林尼治村帕特麗夏·菲爾德(Patricia Field)的時裝精品店的假髮部工作，晚上，她和布拉德福德在東村的男孩酒吧(Boy Bar)以及切爾西的隧道酒吧(Tunnel)表演。
They did triple pirouettes in four-inch pumps and knew the words to every disco song. A crowd favorite was their lip-synced rendition of “No More Tears (Enough Is Enough),” with Ms. Cayne channeling Barbra Streisand and Girlina as Donna Summer.
她們穿着四英寸（約合10釐米）高的高跟鞋表演腳尖旋轉三週，她們知道每一首迪斯科舞曲的歌詞。觀衆最喜歡的是她們對口型演唱《不再有淚（夠了）》(No More Tears [Enough Is Enough])，凱恩飾演芭芭拉·史翠珊(Barbra Streisand)，格莉娜飾演唐娜·薩默(Donna Summer)。
“They were like the Linda Evangelista and Naomi Campbell of the gay club scene,” said the veteran drag performer Linda Simpson. Well, at least the scrappy downtown version of them.
“她們就像同性戀俱樂部圈裏的琳達·埃萬傑利斯塔(Linda Evangelista)和娜奧米·坎貝爾(Naomi Campbell)，”資深變裝演員琳達·辛普森(Linda Simpson)說。呃，至少在雜亂的市中心同性戀俱樂部圈裏是這樣。
Matthew Kasten, who was the promoter at Boy Bar, said, “She kept her shoes in the oven because she didn’t cook.”
馬修·卡斯滕(Matthew Kasten)是男孩酒吧的推廣員。他說，“她把鞋子存放在烤箱裏，因爲她不做飯。”
By the time Ms. Cayne was 24, it was clear that performing in beaded gowns at night was not enough for her. “Nothing made sense,” she said. “I just felt better when I was female.”
凱恩24歲時，顯然已經不滿足於僅在晚上身穿珠飾禮服進行表演。“哪兒都不對勁，”她說，“我就是覺得成爲女人時更舒服。”
But there was one thing standing in the way of a transition. “I was flat broke,” Ms. Cayne said.
但是變性有個難題。“當時我身無分文，”凱恩說。
Through a transgender club doorwoman named Paris, Ms. Cayne began getting black-market hormones. Surgeries took place in a decrepit basement in Guadalajara, Mexico.
通過一個名叫帕里斯(Paris)的變性人俱樂部看門人，凱恩開始從黑市上購買荷爾蒙。手術在墨西哥瓜達拉哈拉的一個破舊的地下室進行。
To help pay for her nose job, the club promoter Marc Berkley hosted a benefit at the Palladium around 1996.
1996年左右，爲了給凱恩籌集鼻子整容的費用，俱樂部推廣員馬克·伯克利(Marc Berkley)在守護神俱樂部(Palladium)舉辦了一場義演。
“There was a dunking booth, and all the girls got in and you would pay to dunk the queens, and the money went to getting Candis a new nose,” said the drag performer Sherry Vine, one of several performers who participated.
“那裏有一個扣籃浸泡機(dunking booth)，所有的女孩都進去，觀衆付費投籃，投中後，變裝皇后們就會掉進水裏，籌集的錢給坎迪絲整鼻子，”變裝演員雪莉·瓦因(Sherry Vine)說。她是其中一位表演參與者。
After Ms. Cayne completed her transition, she moved into the cabaret world, often performing at the Viceroy, a since-shuttered Chelsea restaurant, where her signature move was to take her show into the street, where she would continue to lip-sync and dance while climbing onto the hoods of taxicabs, as the audience watched through the plate-glass windows.
凱恩完成變性後，進入卡巴萊舞蹈圈，經常在切爾西的餐館Viceroy（後來倒閉了）表演，她的招牌是把表演延伸到大街上，她會一邊繼續對口型唱歌跳舞，一邊爬到出租車發動機罩上，觀衆們透過平板玻璃窗觀看。
But she always wanted to act and soon began auditioning. One of her first jobs was on “CSI: NY.” It was a bit part.
但她一直想去表演，很快開始試鏡。一開始，她曾在《犯罪現場調查：紐約》(CSI: NY)中演一個小角色。
“I ended up getting drowned in a toilet,” she said. “I was the dead person.”
“最後，我溺死在廁所裏，”她說，“我演的是一個死人。”
Then, in 2007, she received a phone call from Ms. Field, her former boss, who had since become an in-demand costume designer. Ms. Field had been hired on a noirish nighttime soap called “Dirty Sexy Money,” which was casting the part of a transgender woman. Would Ms. Cayne come in and audition?
2007年，前老闆菲爾德給她打來電話。那時，菲爾德已經是一位熱門戲服設計師，爲一部名叫《黑金家族》、有些陰暗的晚間肥皂劇工作。當時劇組正在尋找一名飾演變性女人的演員。凱恩會來面試嗎？
“I read for it and a week later I got a callback,” Ms. Cayne said. “I had no idea it was a big deal.”
“我去試鏡了，一週後，我得到回電，”凱恩說，“當時我完全不知道那是個絕佳的機會。”
But when the ratings for “Dirty Sexy Money” dropped in the second season, one of the first things that was reconsidered was her character’s place in the plotline. Once again, she died an ignominious death.
但是當《黑金家族》第二季的收視率降低後，劇組首先重新考慮的一點就是她的角色在故事情節中的地位。她第二次不光彩地死去。
“I got killed in a flashback,” Ms. Cayne said. “A flashback!”
“我是在倒敘中死去的，”凱恩說，“在倒敘中！”
The next few years weren’t easy. She got a small part on the FX show “Nip/Tuck,” and appeared as a judge on “RuPaul’s Drag U,” an offshoot of “Drag Race.”
接下來的幾年並不容易。她在FX頻道的電視劇《整容室》(Nip/Tuck)中得到一個小角色；在《魯保羅變裝皇后秀》(Drag Race)的衍生劇《魯保羅變裝皇后學院》(RuPaul’s Drag U)中飾演一名法官。
It turns out that there weren’t a lot of significant roles for transgender actresses. In recent years, she earned her living mostly by doing drag shows around the country. Meanwhile, the relationship with the man she expected to marry ended.
事實證明，給變性女演員準備的重要角色並不多。近些年，她主要靠在美國各地表演變裝秀爲生。與此同時，她想要結婚的男朋友也跟她分手了。
“I just assumed because I was a novice that I would be getting auditions and working a lot more,” said Ms. Cayne, who lives in a modest home in Glendale, Calif., with her two boxers. “It was a stark reality that I faced.”
“我本以爲，因爲我是新手，所以我需要試鏡，需要更努力，”凱恩說。她住在加利福尼亞州格倫代爾一個簡樸的房子裏。家裏有兩隻拳師犬。“這就是我面對的殘酷現實。”
Then this May, a few weeks before Ms. Jenner’s Vanity Fair cover hit the newsstands, Ms. Cayne received a phone call from a producer at “I Am Cait.” Except she wasn’t told what the show was about.
今年5月，在詹納的《名利場》(Vanity Fair)封面火爆上市的前幾周，凱恩接到《我是凱特》的一個製片人的電話。只不過，她未被告知這個節目是講什麼的。
“He said, ‘I want to tell you something but I can’t until you sign a confidentiality agreement,’ ” Ms. Cayne said. “It was like: ‘Hmm. OK. I’m going to sign my life over before I know anything.’ But I was also intrigued because of that.”
“他說，‘我想告訴你一件事，但你必須先簽一份保密協議，’”凱恩說，“那就像是說：‘嗯。好吧。我要先把命簽出去，才能知道是爲了什麼。’但我也因此很好奇。”
Soon, the producer called back to say that he was working on Ms. Jenner’s series for E! and that the show wanted Ms. Cayne to go to a dinner at Ms. Jenner’s house.
很快，那位製片人打來電話說，他在爲《E!》製作詹納的真人秀節目，想讓凱恩去詹納家赴宴。
Ms. Cayne put on a navy lace dress and drove over, and was surprised to discover not only how far along Ms. Jenner was in her transition, but that a number of other prominent trans women were there, including the artist Zackary Drucker and Jennifer Finney Boylan, a Barnard professor and frequent contributor to The New York Times.
凱恩穿上一件海軍藍蕾絲連衣裙開車過去，驚奇地發現詹納已經快要完成變性了，而且其他幾位著名的變性女人也在那裏，包括藝術家扎克里·德魯克(Zackary Drucker)和詹妮弗·芬尼·博伊蘭(Jennifer Finney Boylan)，後者是巴納德學院(Barnard)的教授，經常爲《紐約時報》撰稿。
And the cameras were rolling.
攝像機在拍攝。
At first, Ms. Jenner was shy. “Not in the sense of being quiet,” Ms. Cayne said, “but in the sense of wanting to learn. Now she’s blossomed.”
一開始，詹納有點害羞。“我不是說她很安靜，”凱恩說，“而是那種她想學習變性的感覺。現在，她已經自如盛放了。”
Likewise, a genuine friendship seems to have blossomed, on and off camera, between the two. “Very good friends” is how Ms. Cayne put it.
她們似乎也結下了真正的友誼，不管在鏡頭前還是私下裏。凱恩現在的表述是，她們是“很好的朋友”。
Perhaps eager not to alienate the producers at E! (“I don’t even have a contract,” she said at one point), she hedged a little when asked point blank whether she and Ms. Jenner were dating. Then she gave a wink.
也許是因爲她非常不想疏遠E!的製作人們（“我甚至沒簽合同，”她說過），所以當被直接詢問她和詹納是否在交往時，她有點回避。然後她眨了一下眼。
“I lived in New York for 15 years,” she said, alluding to the friends there who know her to be solely interested in dating straight men. “You do the math.” Asked the same question on “Access Hollywood” this week, she was more direct, saying: “No. We’re just really, really good friends.”
“我在紐約住了15年，”她說。她間接提到，那裏認識她的朋友們都知道她只和直男交往。“你自己猜吧。”本週，當《直通好萊塢》(Access Hollywood)節目也問起這個問題時，她回答得更直接：“不，我們只是非常非常好的朋友。”
If this sort of attention in the celebrity press has not bothered her, it’s partly because the show has put transgender issues front and center in a way seldom seen on television.
如果說這種關注名人的媒體並沒有困擾她，那麼部分原因是這個節目讓變性問題成爲焦點，這在電視上很少見。
“The reason I was like, ‘Yeah, I’m going to do this’ is because it’s going to change the world,” she said. “This is going to make a huge difference to kids who feel alone and watch this show, and see trans women who are successful, happy, amazing people.”
“我說‘是的，我要做這個’，是因爲它會改變這個世界，”她說，“對那些感到孤獨的孩子們來說，通過這個節目，看到變性女人是成功的、快樂的、美妙的，這將會對他們產生重大影響。”
