溫馨人生:人人都應擁有的六種朋友
JUST like a band or gang of superheroes needs members who have different talents and powers, a circle of friends should have exactly the same thing.
正如樂隊或者是超級英雄小團伙需要不同才華和能力的團員一樣，朋友圈也需要這些。“It’s important to have diversity and to be able to look for support from a variety of sources,” says clinical and coaching psychologist and founder of the The Positivity Institute, Dr. Suzy Green. “They also help us to keep broader perspective on life.”
“有不同種類的朋友很重要，它能讓你從不同的渠道獲得幫助。”臨牀指導心理醫生、The Positivity Institute的創始人蘇士 格林（Dr. Suzy Green）博士說到：“他們還能幫助我們拓寬對生命的看法。”Domonique Bertolucci, life coach and author of The Happiness Code, agrees.
生活導師以及《幸福密碼》的作者多.貝託魯奇（Domonique Bertolucci）十分同意這一觀點。
“you.need different types of friends in the same way that you need food from different food groups. Different types of friends serve different purposes and nourish and enrich our lives in different ways.”
“你需要不同種類的朋友，正如你需要不同種類的食物。不同的朋友有不同的功能，他們通過不同的方法滋養、豐富着我們的生活。”While many of us are lucky to count our real friends on one hand, there are certain types of people it’s good to have around. So, how many do you know?
很多人很幸運有幾個數的來的知心朋友，但是跟某些人做朋友也不錯。那麼，你瞭解多少呢？THE FRIEND WHO IS UP FOR ANYTHING
“時刻準備着”的朋友People are busy, we get it. But there’s nothing more frustrating than having to reschedule your re-re-re-scheduled catch-up. Everyone needs a friend who you can call at the drop of a hat. A friend who says “hell yeah, I’m up for that”. That’s why it’s good to have a mate who you don’t need to issue a 28-day notice to just to meet for a frappuccino. It’s refreshing (the friend, that is, not necessarily the frappuccino.) “This friend is the flexible, no frills friend who makes your life a breeze. Nothing is ever too hard and they’re open to doing new things and changing plans at short notice,” says Dr. Green. While Bertolucci agrees, “Their enthusiasm is contagious and you always have more fun when they are around.”
我們都知道人們很忙。世界上最令人沮喪的事情莫非是你得一直一直一直一直調整自己的進度表。大家都需要一通電話就隨時能現身的朋友，一個說“恩，我馬上過來”的朋友。這就是有一個你無須提前28天預約只爲喝杯咖啡的好朋友的好處了。這能讓人放鬆（跟這類朋友不是隻能喝咖啡）。“他們很隨和，不做作，讓你的生活過得輕鬆。任何事情都難不倒他們，他們樂於挑戰新事物，一接到通知，他們就會改變原有計劃。”格林博士說到。貝託魯奇也同意這種說法：“他們的熱情會感染你，在他們身邊，你總是覺着有樂趣。”THE FRIEND WHO YOU ASPIRE TO BE
你想成爲他那樣的人的朋友Oprah Winfrey once said: “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher”. And we all need to live life a little bit closer to Oprah. These people challenge you to be the best version of yourself. The only downside is that sometimes they can be infuriating and inspiring in equal measure. Dr. Green’s advice: “This friend is only an important role model if they behave in ways that are authentic and genuine. They will see the best in you and give you important feedback on both your strengths and weaknesses.”
歐普拉.溫弗瑞曾說：“在你身邊的人應該是能提升你的人。”我們都需要過着歐普拉說到的那種生活。這些人讓你成爲最好的自己。唯一的缺陷就是有時他們令人氣惱，有時又給人力量。格林博士的意見：“如果他們表現出誠實可靠的一面，那麼他們纔是一個重要的榜樣。他們能看到你身上最好的一面，同時對於你的長處及缺陷都能給出重要的反饋。”THE FRIEND WHO DOESN’T KNOW ANY OF YOUR OTHER FRIENDS
不認識你其他友人的朋友We like integration. We like killing two birds with one stone by catching up with several groups of friends at once. But there are times when you need to make an S.O.S call to a friend who is completely uninvolved and removed from a situation who can offer objective advice so it a bonus that your friendship exists without orbiting around your other ones. “There is a level of privacy to this friendship that doesn’t exist in friendship circles,” says Bertolucci. “It will be easier to share some of your hopes and dreams, fears and concerns knowing that they are not going to be discussed when you’re not around.”
我們都喜歡整合。我們喜歡同時擁有多個朋友圈子以達到一石二鳥的目的。但是，有時你需要給一個身處事外的朋友打一通求救電話，徵得他客觀的意見，你們的友誼可以長存而不必圍繞別的友誼存在，這是一個好處。“這種友情之間有種隱私，不存在於朋友圈裏，”貝託魯奇說到：“你不在場的時候他們不會討論你，這使人們更樂於分享自己的願景、夢想、擔憂和顧慮。”THE FRIEND WHO’S PAINFULLY HONEST
十分誠實的朋友An honest friend will not always tell you what you want to hear, but they’ll certainly tell you what you need to know like if he/she is really that into you. When you’ve got a crisis on your hands or need to make a quick decision they are your go-to. They’re also there to keep you away from mixing paisleys and stripes. This type of friend has the strength of “feedback” and “is a pearl who will tell it to you straight when others won’t or will sugarcoat things at the very least,” says Dr. Green. But she warns that this friend is someone who does it with good intentions and for your own benefit.
誠實的朋友不會一直說你愛聽的，但是他們肯定會告訴你你需要了解的事情，他們真的關心你。當你身陷危機，需要迅速做決定的時候，你就應該去找他們。他們讓你從一團亂麻中脫身。這種朋友有“評斷”的能力，“是當別人不會告訴你事實或者粉飾事實時，他們會跟你實話實說的珍寶。”格林博士說到。但是她提醒到，這種朋友這麼做一定是出於良好的目的，確實是爲你好的。THE FRIEND YOU’VE KNOWN LONGER THAN YOU’VE KNOWN YOURSELF
你瞭解他更甚於瞭解自己的朋友History. Sometimes it works to your advantage, other times it doesn’t. This is that friend who sees you out of the context of your job, your relationship, your other friends and your life as it is now. This is the friend who knew you when you had pimples and a bowl cut. There is something special about this person because they feel like home. It’s nice and comforting to be around someone who has known you forever. “This is a friend you never have to put on a brave face for,” says Bertolucci. “They know you better than you know yourself and accept you unconditionally.”
歷史，有時對你有利，有時則不然。這種朋友會跳出你現有的工作、感情、其他友人以及你的生活的框架來看你。他們非常瞭解你。他們很特別，因爲他們像家人。跟了解你的人在一起感覺很舒服。“在他們面前你無須故作堅強，”貝託魯奇說到：“他們比你更瞭解你自己，並且無條件的接受了你。”
