生活經典幽默笑話
在日常繁忙的生活中，也不要忘了放鬆自己的心情。下面是本站小編爲大家帶來生活經典幽默笑話，希望大家喜歡!
生活經典幽默笑話：會彈鋼琴的狗
A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!"
一個人帶着他的狗走進一家酒吧。
The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!"
酒吧服務生對他說，“這裏不能帶狗進來，請離開吧!”
The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that piano, you.both can stay... and have a drink on the house!"
那個人對服務生說，“這可不是一般的狗，它可是會彈鋼琴的!”
So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.
服務生回答說，“呃， 如果它真的能彈鋼琴，你們可以免費在這喝上一杯!”
Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.
那個人把狗放到了彈鋼琴坐的凳子上面，狗就開始了演奏，先是拉格泰姆音樂、接着彈莫扎特還有其它的… …服務生和顧客們都非常欣賞它的彈奏。
Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.
突然，一隻體型更大的狗跑了進來 ，一把抓住小狗的脖子就把它拽出去了。
The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?"
酒吧服務生問那個人，“那是怎麼回事?”
The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor."
那人回答 ，“噢，那是它媽媽。 她不想它兒子玩音樂，而是做一名醫生。”
生活經典幽默笑話：笨小孩
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer ..., "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.
一個小男孩走進一家理髮店， 理髮師低聲對他的顧客說，“我再也沒見過比這個小子更笨的小孩了， 你看着，我證明給你看。”
" The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,"Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
理髮師拿出一張1美元的鈔票放在一隻手上，另一隻手上則拿着兩個25美分的硬幣，把小孩叫跟前問，“你想要哪隻手上的?” 男孩拿走了那兩個25美分然後走了。
"What did I tell you?" said the barber."That kid never learns!" Later,
“瞧我剛纔怎麼跟你說的?”
when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
理髮師說，“那小子就不會學精點!” 過了一會，顧客離開了理髮店，他發現剛纔那個小男孩從一間雪糕店走出來。
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
“嘿，小傢伙! 我可以問你個問題嗎?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
你爲什麼不拿那一美元，而拿那兩個25 美分呢?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!
小男孩舔了一口手上的雪糕回答說，“我要是拿了那一美元的鈔票，以後那剪頭的再也不會給我錢了!”
生活經典幽默笑話：五百遍
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city,
在中西部一個大城市的交通法庭裏，
a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light.
一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由於開車闖紅燈被開了罰單。
She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes.
女士向法官解釋，她是一名學校老師，請求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。
A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he.
法官眼中閃過一絲狡黠，說道：“你是學校的老師，對嗎?
"Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
女士，我馬上要實現我畢生的願望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫‘我開車闖了紅燈’500遍。”
