美式幽默笑話英文2017
“笑話”是引人發笑的故事.”這個有關笑話這種民間文學體裁的定義着眼於一個特殊的角度:“人——”聽衆,即笑話的接受者。下面是本站小編帶來的2017美式幽默英文笑話，歡迎閱讀!
Don't Get Caught
不要被逮着了!
Out in the forest preserve, a man strolled up to the fisher man and asked whether he'd had any luck.
在森林保護區內，有個人走向一位正在釣魚的老兄並問他有沒有收穫。
yesterday I caught fourteen bass in the morning and another twelve in the afternoon ,
“今天什麼也沒有，不過你應該昨天來見我纔是。昨天早上我釣了十四尾鱸魚，下午釣了十二尾呢!”
"Well, that's very interesting. Do you know who I am?"
“哦，那相當不錯嘛，你知道我是誰嗎?”
"No."
“不知道。”
"I happen to be the game warden "
“我恰巧就是監視狩獵的管理員。”
"Oh. And do you know who I am? I’m the biggest liar you ever laid eyes on "
“哦，那你又知道我是誰嗎?我是你所發現最會說謊話的人。”
2017美式幽默英文笑話篇二Learning to Share
學習共同分享
Johnny divided a piece of pie into two pieces, kept the bigger piece for himself and gave the smaller piece to his sister.
強尼把一塊派一分爲二，把大的留給自己，小的給他妹妹。
"Hey," said his sister, "if I'd divided the pie, I would have kept the smaller piece for myself. "
“嘿，如果是我來分那塊派，我會把小的留給我自己，”妹妹說
"Well, that's what you got, so what are you complaining about?"
“你不是分到小塊的嗎，還抱怨什麼呢?”
2017美式幽默英文笑話篇三Aren't Kidss Wonderful ?
小孩子實在了不起!
Mother got on the train with Little Johnny and Little Ronny.
媽媽和小強尼、小羅尼一起搭乘火車。
Little Johnny was full of questions, as usual: "What's an emergency brake, Mommy?"
小強尼一如往常問東問西，“媽咪，什麼是緊急煞車?"
“Why did that policeman ask to see our tickets?"
“爲什麼那位警察叔叔要看我們的車票?"
"Why can't I lean out the window?" etc.
“爲什麼身體不能伸出窗外?"等等諸如此類問題。
His mother was becoming ever more exasperated.
媽媽實在忍不住要發脾氣了。
Finally, Little Johnny asked, "What was that last station we stopped at, Mommy?"
最後小強尼又問：“媽咪，剛剛火車停靠的是哪一站?”
"I don't know, Johnny, and will you please stop pestering me? I'm trying to read. "
“我不知道，強尼，你可不可以不要煩我，我正在看書呢!”
A few minutes of silence passed. Then Johnny said, "It's too bad you don't know what station that was, 'cause that's where Little Ronny got off. "
一陣安靜後，強尼說：“真糟糕，你竟然不知道羅尼下車的那個車站。"
2017美式幽默英文笑話篇四A Lesson in Philosophy
哲學課一則
Why worry?
何必憂慮呢?
Really, you have only two worry about-either you are sick or you are well.
真的，你只有兩件事要擔心，你不是會生病就是身體健康。
If you are well, you have nothing to worry about,
如果你身體健康，那麼就沒什麼好擔心的。
and if you are sick, you have only two things to worry about-either you get well or you die.
如果生病的話，只要擔憂兩件事，你不是康復就是死亡。
If you get well, you have nothing to worry about,
如果你康復的話，什麼也不必擔心。
and if you die, you have only two things to worry about-either you go to heaven or you go to hell.
如果不幸死亡的話，你只要擔心兩件事，你不是上天堂就是下地獄。
If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about,
如果上天堂，什麼也不需要你擔憂。
and if you go to 'll be so busy shaking hands with old friends, you won't have time to worry !
要是下地獄的話，你會忙着和老朋友握手寒暄，連擔憂事情的時間都沒有!
2017美式幽默英文笑話篇五Wow!That's a Bi g One!
哇!那個真是大得嚇人
One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender put a big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.
某一天一位觀光客走進一家德州酒店點了一杯威士忌，酒保競給他一大杯的酒。
"What,s this?" asked the tourist.
“這是什麼呢?，’觀光客問道。
"Why, it,s a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"
“怎麼了，那是你點的酒，難道你不知道德州每樣東西都大得嚇人。”
Then, an armadillo ran past the door.
那時剛好有一隻穿山甲跑過酒店門口。
“What was that?" asked the tourist.
“那是什麼東西?’觀光客又問。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "
“哦，那是隻德州蟑螂!”
By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,
喝了酒，觀光客感到腹脹頭昏，
and he asked the location of the bathroom
他問哪裏有洗手間，
The bartender directed him to go down the hall and to the right,
酒保告訴他下樓後右轉，
but the tourist turned left instead and fell into the swimming pool.
但觀光客卻向左轉，跌落在酒店的游泳池中。
The bartender heard the splash and went to investigate.
酒保聽到水聲跑出去看個究竟，
As he put his head in the door, he heard the tourist cry. "Don,t flush the toilet ! "
剛把頭伸進門就聽到觀光客大叫，“不要按動馬桶沖水喲!
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