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關於1分鐘英文笑話閱讀

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做事情要靈活,不能死搬教條,不然就會鬧出“鄭人買履”那樣的笑話。本文是關於1分鐘英文笑話,希望對大家有幫助!

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  關於1分鐘英文笑話:American Soldier

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat.

The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?"

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired. The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!" The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.

The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier. An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

  關於1分鐘英文笑話:Difference

"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."

區 別

“研究生班和本科生很容易就能區別開來,”在洛杉磯加利福利亞州立大學給我們研究生上工程學課的老師如此說。“我說‘下午好’,本科生們回答說‘下午好’。研究生們則把我說的話記在筆記本上。”

  關於1分鐘英文笑話:Virtue

Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.

When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."

美 德

獲取研究生學位多年以後,我回到位於賓翰頓的紐約州立大學當教員。一天,電梯裏很擁擠,有人抱怨電梯效率太低。我說自我在那裏當學生起,20年來電梯一直沒有換過。

最後當電梯門打開時,我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下,回過頭來我看到一位年長的修女正在朝我微笑。“你會拿到學位的,親愛的,”她低聲說道:“堅持不懈是一種美德。”

  關於1分鐘英文笑話:Charge for Bread and Butter

Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.50 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal services.

Someone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for? We never ordered any legal services."

Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter."

The $1.50 was returned without delay.

麪包和黃油費

幾年前,我當律師的爸爸帶我去紐約的一家高檔餐館。帳單上來時,上面有1.5美元的麪包和黃油費。爸爸付了帳,連同麪包和黃油的收費一齊付了。但是第二天,他給餐館寄了一封信,說那項收費是沒有道理的。隨信還寄上了一張500美元的法律服務機構的收費單。

餐館馬上打來電話,問道:“這500美元的收費單是怎麼回事?我們從來沒有要什麼法律機構的服務。”

爸爸答道,“我也從來沒有要什麼麪包和黃油。”

那1.5美元立即就寄了回來。

  關於1分鐘英文笑話:Too Long

The travel editor of a newspaper called, saying she was finally using an article I had written several years earlier. She wanted to be sure the tour information was still correct. "I also wanted to make certain," she sheepishly confessed, "that you're still alive. Whenever the writer has died, I know I've held a story too long."

太久

一家報紙的旅行版編輯打開電話,說她終於決定要採用一篇我幾年前寫的文章。她想確定那旅遊信息是否還可靠。“我還想確定,”她怯怯地坦白道:“您是否還健在。每次發現作者已經不在人世了,我才知道我將文章壓得太久了。”


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