白頭到老的六大祕訣(圖)
For Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, it's perseverance. For Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter, it's maintaining separate work lives. For Doyle and Louise Brunson, having separate bank accounts helps.
對奧茲•奧斯伯恩(Ozzy Osbourne)和雪倫•奧斯伯恩(Sharon Osbourne)這對夫妻來說，婚姻是一種堅持。對吉米•卡特(Jimmy Carter)和羅莎琳•卡特(Rosalynn Carter)這對夫妻來說，美滿婚姻意味着在工作上互不干涉。對多爾•布朗森(Doyle Brunson)和路易絲•布朗森(Louise Brunson)這對夫妻來說，銀行賬戶分開是個小訣竅。
A former first lady, a rock star who's been in and out of rehab more times than he can remember, and a professional poker player can all offer considerable insight into the mysterious workings of marriage. After all, their wisdom is gleaned from decades of conjugal bliss.
這三對夫妻中，羅莎琳.卡特是美國前總統的夫人；奧茲•奧斯伯恩是個搖滾歌星，往返於康復中心的次數連他自己都記不清了；多爾•布朗森是個職業撲克選手，對於維繫婚姻的祕訣有非常深入的看法。不管怎麼說，他們對於婚姻的智慧都來自於幾十年婚姻的積累和沉澱。
OK, maybe it wasn't always bliss. But each of them has stayed married -- to the same person -- for a very long time. And each considers his or her marriage to be happy, strong and mutually supportive.
當然，婚姻並不總是快樂的，但這幾對長期以來一直保持着不離不棄的婚姻關係─而且從一而終。他們都認爲自己的婚姻關係是快樂、穩固和彼此支持的。
In other words, they beat the odds.
換句話來說，他們做到了許多人未能做到的事情。
It is often possible to understand why a marriage fails, as so many do. It is much more difficult, though, to elucidate why one succeeds. Why do some couples thrive, while others fizzle or flame out, despite their best intentions?
人們往往可以理解一段婚姻爲什麼會失敗，因爲失敗的婚姻確實很多；但說清楚一段婚姻爲什麼能成功卻要困難得多。雖然每個選擇婚姻的人都想好好過日子，但爲何有些夫妻能相濡以沫，而有些夫妻卻過得雞犬不寧？
When I recently met former first lady Rosalynn Carter, who has been married to Jimmy Carter for 63 years. I couldn't resist asking how they made such a perfect union.
我最近見到前第一夫人羅莎琳•卡特，她已經嫁給吉米.卡特63年了。我忍不住問她，爲什麼婚姻能如此美滿。
Mrs. Carter replied that she and her husband had gone through two periods that were tough. 'First, well, let me just say: Don't ever write a book with your husband,' she said.
羅莎琳回答，她和丈夫也經歷過兩段煎熬的時期。“這麼說吧，首先要記住一點：千萬不要跟自己的丈夫合作寫一本書，”她說道。
She went on to explain that the period after she and Mr. Carter left the White House and returned to their hometown of Plains, Ga., also put a strain on their relationship. Her husband felt adrift after failing to win re-election, she said. He would often interrupt her while she was at work in her home office, asking her to have a cup of coffee with him and chat.
羅莎琳解釋說，她和吉米•卡特離開白宮回到佐治亞州Plains的家鄉後，兩人的關係一度緊張。吉米•卡特沒能再度當選總統，因此感到無所事事，經常到羅莎琳在家辦公的房間來打攪她工作，讓她跟他一起聊天喝咖啡。
'We learned that it was important to our marriage for each of us to always have our own work, our own projects,' said Mrs. Carter, 82.
“我們發現，要想維持好婚姻關係，必須雙方都各有工作去做，有項目要去完成，”現年82歲的羅莎琳說道。
I asked my parents, who just celebrated their 46th wedding anniversary, why their marriage lasted so long. My dad said he had no idea. 'Your mother did all the hard work,' he admitted. Mom agreed, and divulged her marital secret: 'forgiveness.'
我父母最近剛剛慶祝了46週年的結婚紀念日，我問他們爲什麼婚姻能持續這麼長時間。我爸爸說，他也不知道，但他承認：“全靠你媽媽維持得好。”我媽媽對此深表同意，並說出了她維繫婚姻的成功祕訣：“寬容。”
Happily married people believe they married their soul mates, and for good reason. Even marrying the right person gets you only part way. Ask the couples themselves, and they'll likely credit some combination of hard work and sheer blind luck. No one says that every day, or even every year, was rosy. And there are plenty of long marriages that are unhappy. But there are some strategies that happily married couples say work:
婚姻幸福的人相信，他們找到了自己的靈魂伴侶，而且他們有充分的理由在一起。不過，即使找對了人，革命也尚未成功。問問這些快樂的夫妻，他們告訴你成功的婚姻還需要雙方的努力和一點點運氣。沒人會說婚姻的每一天、甚至每一年都像玫瑰一樣美好。有不少婚姻雖然長久，但並不快樂。不過，婚姻幸福的夫妻還是給出了一些成功的祕訣。
重點單詞查看全部解釋unhappy[ʌn'hæpi]想一想再看
adj. 不快樂的，不高興的
celebrated['selibreitid]想一想再看
adj. 著名的，聲譽卓著的 動詞celebrate的過
聯想記憶X單詞celebrated聯想記憶：cerebr腦，有頭腦－知名的，celebrate（v 讚揚）：被讚揚的－知名的 sheer[ʃiə]
想一想再看
adj. 純粹的，全然的，陡峭的
adv. 完
想一想再看
n. 契約，協定，條約
聯想記憶X單詞pact聯想記憶：p怕，act行動：怕別人採取行動，所以要簽訂協定 interrupt[ə'rʌpt]
想一想再看
v. 打斷，打擾，中止，中斷
n. [計算機]
inter中間，rupt斷裂－使別人的談話在中間斷裂－打斷 separate['sepəreit]
想一想再看
n. 分開，抽印本
adj. 分開的，各自的，
想一想再看
vt. 理解，懂，聽說，獲悉，將 ... 理解爲，認爲<
perseverance[.pə:si'viərəns]想一想再看
n. 毅力，忍耐，不屈不撓
聯想記憶X單詞perseverance聯想記憶：persevere堅持+ance表名詞，“性質，狀況”→堅持不懈 spoke[spəuk]
想一想再看
v. 說，說話，演說
considerable[kən'sidərəbl]想一想再看
adj. 相當大的，可觀的，重要的
聯想記憶X單詞considerable聯想記憶：這次走私的數目considerable，需要好好consider
-- Find the middle ground. 'It's all give and take,' says Marlene Critch, a retired hospital director in Tucson. She met her husband Bill on a blind date in 1959. He took her on a picnic with a thermos of gin and tonics; they married two months later.
1. 找到折衷點。“婚姻就得互相遷就。” 亞利桑那州圖桑市(Tucson)一位退休的醫院院長瑪琳•克里奇(Marlene Critch)說。1959年，她經人介紹認識了自己未來的丈夫比爾(Bill)。比爾帶了一水壺的酒，邀她一起外出野餐，兩個月後兩人就結爲伉儷。
Flash ahead 50 years. The Critches have raised two daughters in Seattle and weathered his severe heart condition. They swim together each morning, and he reads her children's books when she has trouble falling asleep at night.
一轉眼，50年過去了。克里奇夫婦在西雅圖養大了兩個女兒，比爾患有嚴重的心臟病，但兩人依然相互扶持，不離不棄。他們每天早上一起游泳，瑪琳晚上睡不着的時候，比爾就給她念童話故事，幫她安睡。
Compromise, they say, got them through the good and bad times. Mr. Critch, 75, says he compromised by quitting the Air Force early in their marriage, because it bothered her that he was away from home so much. (Press him for more concessions, and he says, 'Miso soup.')
他們說，妥協和讓步幫助他們度過婚姻中的起起伏伏。75歲的比爾說，他做出的妥協是結婚不久後就從空軍退役，因爲瑪琳受不了他長時間不在家的日子。（在我的逼問下，他又說了一樣東西：“日本醬湯”。）
Ms. Critch, 74, says she made her own compromise by agreeing to retire to Arizona, where her husband preferred the climate. (She wanted to stay in Seattle to be close to their daughters.)
74歲的瑪琳說，她做出的妥協是同意退休後到亞利桑那州生活，因爲她丈夫喜歡那裏的氣候。（她自己希望繼續住在西雅圖，離女兒們近一點。）
'If each person can give 75 percent, you've got 150 percent,' says Ms. Critch. Her husband agrees. 'Many men would call that wussy,' he says. 'But I don't because I value her more than anything else in the world.'
“如果每人都能讓步75%，兩個人就有150%的靈活空間。” 瑪琳說道。她丈夫也表示同意：“很多男人會說這是怕老婆的表現，但我不這麼看。向妻子妥協，是因爲對我而言，她是這世上最重要的。”
Similarly, Jan and Len Konkel, who have been married for 62 years, long ago made a pact to never argue over anything that wasn't very important, saving their battles for things like how to raise their three children. 'Everything else is minor and can be settled in a discussion,' says Ms. Konkel, 84.
與此相似，簡•康科爾(Jan Konkel)和蘭恩•康科爾(Len Konkel)已經結婚62年。他們很久以前就彼此說好，永遠不爲小事而爭吵，這讓他們在如何養育自己三個孩子等方面少了很多爭吵。“除了婚姻，其他的都是小事，都可以商量着解決。”84歲的簡說道。
Her husband, well, agrees. 'I say 'Yes ma'am' and 'No ma'am' a lot,' says Mr. Konkel, 88.
88歲的蘭恩也同意妻子的說法：“我們有商有量的，我經常說‘好的、老婆’，也經常說‘不好、老婆’。”
想一想再看
adj. 不快樂的，不高興的
celebrated['selibreitid]想一想再看
adj. 著名的，聲譽卓著的 動詞celebrate的過
聯想記憶X單詞celebrated聯想記憶：cerebr腦，有頭腦－知名的，celebrate（v 讚揚）：被讚揚的－知名的 sheer[ʃiə]
想一想再看
adj. 純粹的，全然的，陡峭的
adv. 完
想一想再看
n. 契約，協定，條約
聯想記憶X單詞pact聯想記憶：p怕，act行動：怕別人採取行動，所以要簽訂協定 interrupt[ə'rʌpt]
想一想再看
v. 打斷，打擾，中止，中斷
n. [計算機]
inter中間，rupt斷裂－使別人的談話在中間斷裂－打斷 separate['sepəreit]
想一想再看
n. 分開，抽印本
adj. 分開的，各自的，
想一想再看
vt. 理解，懂，聽說，獲悉，將 ... 理解爲，認爲<
perseverance[.pə:si'viərəns]想一想再看
n. 毅力，忍耐，不屈不撓
聯想記憶X單詞perseverance聯想記憶：persevere堅持+ance表名詞，“性質，狀況”→堅持不懈 spoke[spəuk]
想一想再看
v. 說，說話，演說
considerable[kən'sidərəbl]想一想再看
adj. 相當大的，可觀的，重要的
聯想記憶X單詞considerable聯想記憶：這次走私的數目considerable，需要好好consider
-- Be funny. On the night in 1967 that Jackie and Ken Egan met at a dance club in Newton, Mass., he asked her for a kiss. She declined: 'I don't know you,' she told him. 'And my kisses are like Lay's potato chips -- you wouldn't want just one.'
2. 要有幽默感。1967年的一個晚上，傑琪•伊根(Jackie Egan)和肯•伊根(Ken Egan)在馬薩諸塞州Newton市一家舞蹈俱樂部相識。肯向傑琪索吻，但遭到拒絕。“我還不瞭解你，” 傑琪對他說，“而且我的吻就像‘樂事薯片’一樣，你不可能只想吃一片。”
The Egans, who live in Marshfield, Mass., and have four children, just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary on Monday. Ms. Egan says laughter helps them deal with issues that would otherwise drive them nuts -- such as Mr. Egan's fussy eating habits and forgetfulness about putting the toilet seat down. Or Ms. Egan's inability to let her husband finish a story without interrupting him, or her many knickknacks.
伊根夫婦住在馬薩諸塞州的Marshfield市，養育了四個孩子，兩人週一剛剛慶祝了40週年的結婚紀念日。傑琪說，幽默幫他們度過很多難關，不然的話他們會被生活中的一些小事逼瘋──比如肯在飲食上挑三揀四，經常忘記把坐便器的蓋子放下來；傑琪往往不等丈夫把故事說完就打斷他，還喜歡買很多的小擺設。
'You need to learn to find the humor in each other's annoying habits. It helps you keep the affection,' says Ms. Egan, 69.
“你得從對方惱人的生活習慣中發現一些有趣的地方，這有助於維護雙方的感情，”69歲的傑琪說道。
重點單詞查看全部解釋unhappy[ʌn'hæpi]想一想再看
adj. 不快樂的，不高興的
celebrated['selibreitid]想一想再看
adj. 著名的，聲譽卓著的 動詞celebrate的過
聯想記憶X單詞celebrated聯想記憶：cerebr腦，有頭腦－知名的，celebrate（v 讚揚）：被讚揚的－知名的 sheer[ʃiə]
想一想再看
adj. 純粹的，全然的，陡峭的
adv. 完
想一想再看
n. 契約，協定，條約
聯想記憶X單詞pact聯想記憶：p怕，act行動：怕別人採取行動，所以要簽訂協定 interrupt[ə'rʌpt]
想一想再看
v. 打斷，打擾，中止，中斷
n. [計算機]
inter中間，rupt斷裂－使別人的談話在中間斷裂－打斷 separate['sepəreit]
想一想再看
n. 分開，抽印本
adj. 分開的，各自的，
想一想再看
vt. 理解，懂，聽說，獲悉，將 ... 理解爲，認爲<
perseverance[.pə:si'viərəns]想一想再看
n. 毅力，忍耐，不屈不撓
聯想記憶X單詞perseverance聯想記憶：persevere堅持+ance表名詞，“性質，狀況”→堅持不懈 spoke[spəuk]
想一想再看
v. 說，說話，演說
considerable[kən'sidərəbl]想一想再看
adj. 相當大的，可觀的，重要的
聯想記憶X單詞considerable聯想記憶：這次走私的數目considerable，需要好好consider
-- Keep (some) secrets. When poker legend Doyle Brunson met his wife Louise at a country-and-western club in Texas in 1961, he told her he gambled for a living. And she accepted him for who he is. 'Love is the most important thing,' says Louise Brunson, 78. 'You have to love your spouse more than life itself.'
3. 保留自己的（一些）小祕密。1961年，撲克教父多爾•布朗森在德克薩斯州一個西部鄉村俱樂部遇到自己未來的妻子路易絲。多爾告訴路易絲自己以賭博爲生，路易絲不以爲意，全盤接受了他。“最重要的是彼此相愛，”現年78歲的路易絲說，“你必須愛你的配偶，甚至超過自己的生命。”
The Brunsons, who live in Las Vegas, have stood by each other through some serious trials in their 47 years of marriage, including the death of a daughter and an armed robbery of their home, during which they were tied up at gunpoint.
布朗森夫婦住在拉斯維加斯，在47年的婚姻生活中經歷過不少嚴峻的考驗，包括一個女兒的死亡，以及一起對自己房子的武裝搶劫，當時他們都遭到捆綁，被人用槍指着頭。
'You have to go forward, you can't go back,' says Mr. Brunson, 76. Even so, the Brunsons don't share everything. He does not discuss his business with her. 'I have won and lost millions of dollars without her knowing,' he says. Ms. Brunson says that's just fine with her. 'I have my own bank account,' she says.
“生活還得繼續，沒辦法回頭。”76歲的多爾說。即便如此，布朗森夫婦並不分享彼此之間的所有祕密。多爾從不跟路易絲談自己的生意。“我經常有幾百萬美元的輸贏，而我從不讓她知道，”多爾說。路易絲表示，丈夫這麼做沒問題。“我有自己的銀行存款帳戶，”她說道。
重點單詞查看全部解釋unhappy[ʌn'hæpi]想一想再看
adj. 不快樂的，不高興的
celebrated['selibreitid]想一想再看
adj. 著名的，聲譽卓著的 動詞celebrate的過
聯想記憶X單詞celebrated聯想記憶：cerebr腦，有頭腦－知名的，celebrate（v 讚揚）：被讚揚的－知名的 sheer[ʃiə]
想一想再看
adj. 純粹的，全然的，陡峭的
adv. 完
想一想再看
n. 契約，協定，條約
聯想記憶X單詞pact聯想記憶：p怕，act行動：怕別人採取行動，所以要簽訂協定 interrupt[ə'rʌpt]
想一想再看
v. 打斷，打擾，中止，中斷
n. [計算機]
inter中間，rupt斷裂－使別人的談話在中間斷裂－打斷 separate['sepəreit]
想一想再看
n. 分開，抽印本
adj. 分開的，各自的，
想一想再看
vt. 理解，懂，聽說，獲悉，將 ... 理解爲，認爲<
perseverance[.pə:si'viərəns]想一想再看
n. 毅力，忍耐，不屈不撓
聯想記憶X單詞perseverance聯想記憶：persevere堅持+ance表名詞，“性質，狀況”→堅持不懈 spoke[spəuk]
想一想再看
v. 說，說話，演說
considerable[kən'sidərəbl]想一想再看
adj. 相當大的，可觀的，重要的
聯想記憶X單詞considerable聯想記憶：這次走私的數目considerable，需要好好consider
-- Never, ever give up. This tip is really important, so pay attention. Sharon Osbourne says it is how she stayed with husband Ozzy for 28 years and counting. And she's married to the Prince of Darkness. He bit the head off of a live bat, for God's sake. (Ditto a dove.)
4. 永不放棄。這一點尤其重要，需要引起我們的注意。雪倫•奧斯伯恩說，正是這一信條讓她堅守在丈夫奧茲•奧斯伯恩身邊28年，並將繼續堅守下去。她嫁給了一個“黑暗王子”，奧茲曾經把一隻活蝙蝠的頭活生生地咬下來。（還有一次咬的是一隻鴿子。）
He also spent years strung out on drugs and alcohol. Never mind the groupies and the near-fatal overdoses. This man set fire to his house, passed out on a freeway median, and once tried to strangle his wife.
奧茲多年來吸毒和酗酒成癮，根本不管這種做法將給追星族們帶來不良影響，以及過量吸食可能會致死。奧茲曾放火把自己的房子點燃，在高速公路正中間昏迷不醒，還有一次差點把雪倫勒死。
Ms. Osbourne, for her part, tried to run him over with a car, smashing his gold records with a hammer and taking out a restraining order. 'We became like a soap opera,' says Ms. Osbourne, 57, who is her husband's manager.
雪倫自己也曾試圖用車撞死奧茲，用榔頭把奧茲獲得的金唱片獎砸碎，並向法院申請對奧茲的禁制令。“我們之間的婚姻就像一場肥皂鬧劇，”57歲的雪倫說，她同時也是丈夫的經紀人。
And yet she stuck by her man. Why? Because she felt he was a good person when sober and that he would kick his addictions one day. And she still believes he is her soul mate. ('Twice recently we've had the same dream on the same night,' she says.)
儘管如此，雪倫仍未離開奧茲。爲什麼？因爲她覺得丈夫清醒的時候是個好人，而且有朝一日能把毒癮和酒癮戒掉。她還深信，奧茲就是自己的靈魂伴侶。“最近有兩次，我們在同一個晚上做了同樣的夢。” 雪倫說。
'I went into marriage thinking it was forever. So I was stubborn,' says Ms. Osbourne who has three children with her husband.
“我結婚的時候，堅信這段感情將永生永世，我是個很固執的人。” 和丈夫生了三個孩子的雪倫說道。
Mr. Osbourne, who had been married once before, finally did sober up 'six or seven years' ago, he says. He says he is very glad his wife stuck it out. 'You don't throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble,' he says.
以前結過一次婚的奧茲在“六、七年前”終於醒悟過來，他說很高興妻子對自己始終不離不棄，“不能一遇到麻煩，就馬上搖白旗投降。” 奧茲說道。
And so Mr. Osbourne says he has made a point of telling his wife he loved her every single day -- no matter where he was in the world, no matter how drunk or high. 'She sometimes said 'Drop dead' or 'F -- off,' he says. 'But at least if you are arguing, you are talking. If you stop talking, it's time to call it a day.'
奧茲說自己始終記住一點，每天都對妻子說“我愛你”──不管身在世界哪個地方，不管是否爛醉如泥，或吸毒吸得神智不清。“有的時候她會說‘去死吧！’或‘給我滾！’，但吵架意味着至少我們還在對話。如果夫妻之間不再交談，那就該說拜拜了。”
重點單詞查看全部解釋unhappy[ʌn'hæpi]想一想再看
adj. 不快樂的，不高興的
celebrated['selibreitid]想一想再看
adj. 著名的，聲譽卓著的 動詞celebrate的過
聯想記憶X單詞celebrated聯想記憶：cerebr腦，有頭腦－知名的，celebrate（v 讚揚）：被讚揚的－知名的 sheer[ʃiə]
想一想再看
adj. 純粹的，全然的，陡峭的
adv. 完
想一想再看
n. 契約，協定，條約
聯想記憶X單詞pact聯想記憶：p怕，act行動：怕別人採取行動，所以要簽訂協定 interrupt[ə'rʌpt]
想一想再看
v. 打斷，打擾，中止，中斷
n. [計算機]
inter中間，rupt斷裂－使別人的談話在中間斷裂－打斷 separate['sepəreit]
想一想再看
n. 分開，抽印本
adj. 分開的，各自的，
想一想再看
vt. 理解，懂，聽說，獲悉，將 ... 理解爲，認爲<
perseverance[.pə:si'viərəns]想一想再看
n. 毅力，忍耐，不屈不撓
聯想記憶X單詞perseverance聯想記憶：persevere堅持+ance表名詞，“性質，狀況”→堅持不懈 spoke[spəuk]
想一想再看
v. 說，說話，演說
considerable[kən'sidərəbl]想一想再看
adj. 相當大的，可觀的，重要的
聯想記憶X單詞considerable聯想記憶：這次走私的數目considerable，需要好好consider
-- Stay alive. My sister, a doctor, told me about one of her patients, a 92-year-old woman who showed up for her appointment with her husband, who is 94. They said they have been married for almost 70 years.
5. 多活幾年。我姐姐是個醫生。她對我講起自己一個病人的故事。那是位92歲高齡的女士，她每次來看病的時候，94歲的丈夫都陪着她一起來。這對高齡夫婦已經結婚將近70年。
My sister, highly impressed, asked the couple the secret to their union's longevity. And they looked at each other for a long moment. Then the wife spoke: 'Eh, neither of us died.'
我姐姐很是驚訝，問那對夫妻婚姻如此長久的祕訣。他們彼此對望了許久，然後那個妻子說話了：“呃，因爲我們倆都還沒死。”
重點單詞查看全部解釋unhappy[ʌn'hæpi]想一想再看
adj. 不快樂的，不高興的
celebrated['selibreitid]想一想再看
adj. 著名的，聲譽卓著的 動詞celebrate的過
聯想記憶X單詞celebrated聯想記憶：cerebr腦，有頭腦－知名的，celebrate（v 讚揚）：被讚揚的－知名的 sheer[ʃiə]
想一想再看
adj. 純粹的，全然的，陡峭的
adv. 完
想一想再看
n. 契約，協定，條約
聯想記憶X單詞pact聯想記憶：p怕，act行動：怕別人採取行動，所以要簽訂協定 interrupt[ə'rʌpt]
想一想再看
v. 打斷，打擾，中止，中斷
n. [計算機]
inter中間，rupt斷裂－使別人的談話在中間斷裂－打斷 separate['sepəreit]
想一想再看
n. 分開，抽印本
adj. 分開的，各自的，
想一想再看
vt. 理解，懂，聽說，獲悉，將 ... 理解爲，認爲<
perseverance[.pə:si'viərəns]想一想再看
n. 毅力，忍耐，不屈不撓
聯想記憶X單詞perseverance聯想記憶：persevere堅持+ance表名詞，“性質，狀況”→堅持不懈 spoke[spəuk]
想一想再看
v. 說，說話，演說
considerable[kən'sidərəbl]想一想再看
adj. 相當大的，可觀的，重要的
聯想記憶X單詞considerable聯想記憶：這次走私的數目considerable，需要好好consider
