A Wolf’s Tale ing-bottom: 91.09%;"> With all her big brothers and sisters off to school, our ranch became a lonely place for our three-year-old daughter, Becky. She longed for playmates. Cattle and horses were too big to cuddle and farm machinery dangerous for a child so small. We promised to buy her a puppy but in the meantime, “Pretend” puppies popped up nearly every day. I had just finished washing the lunch dishes when the screen door slammed and Becky rushed in, cheeks flushed with excitement. “Mama!” she cried, “Come see my new doggy! I gave him water two times already. He’s so thirsty!” I sighed, another of Becky’s imaginary dogs. “Please come, Mama.” She tugged at my jeans, her brown eyes pleading, “He’s crying — and he can’t walk!” “Can’t walk?” Now that was a twist. All her previous make-believe dogs could do marvelous things. One balanced a ball on the end of its nose. Another dug a hole that went all the way through the earth and fell out on a star on the other side. Still another danced on a tightrope. Why suddenly a dog that couldn’t walk? “All right, honey,” I said. By the time I tried to follow her, Becky had already disappeared into the mesquite. “Where are you?” I called. “Over here by the oak stump. Hurry, Mama!” I parted the thorny branches and raised my hand against the glare of the Arizona sun. A numbing chill gripped me. There she was, sitting on her heels, toes dug firmly in the sand, and cradled in her lap was the unmistakable head of a wolf! Beyond its head rose massive black shoulders. The rest of the body lay completely hidden inside the hollow stump of a fallen oak. “Becky,” My mouth felt dry. “Don’t move.” I stepped closer. Pale-yellow eyes narrowed. Black lips tightened, exposing double sets of two-inch fangs. Suddenly the wolf trembled. Its teeth clacked, and a piteous whine rose from its throat. “It’s all right, boy,” Becky crooned. “Don’t be afraid. That’s my mama, and she loves you, too.” Then the unbelievable happened. As her tiny hands stroked the great shaggy head, I heard the gentle thump, thump, thumping of the wolf’s tail from deep inside the stump. What was wrong with the animal? I wondered. Why couldn’t he get up? I couldn’t tell. Nor did I dare to step any closer. I glanced at the empty water bowl. My memory flashed back to the five skunks that last week had torn the burlap from a leaking pipe in a frenzied effort to reach water during the final agonies of rabies. Of course! Rabies! Warning signs had been posted all over the county, and hadn’t Becky said, “He’s so thirsty?” I had to get Becky away. “Honey,” My throat tightened. “Put his head down and come to Mama. We’ll go find help.” Reluctantly, Becky got up and kissed the wolf on the nose before she walked slowly into my outstretched arms. Sad yellow eyes followed her. Then the wolf’s head sank to the ground. With Becky safe in my arms, I ran to the barns where Brian, one of our cowhands, was saddling up to check heifers in the North pasture. “Brian! Come quickly. Becky found a wolf in the oak stump near the wash! I think it has rabies!” “I’ll be there in a jiffy,” he said as I hurried back to the house, eager to put Becky down for her nap. I didn’t want her to see Brian come out of the bunkhouse. I knew he’d have a gun. “But I want to give my doggy his water,” she cried. I kissed her and gave her some stuffed animals to play with. “Honey, let Mom and Brian take care of him for now,” I said. Moments later, I reached the oak stump. Brian stood looking down at the beast. “It’s a Mexican lobo, all right.” He said, “And a big one!” The wolf whined. Then we both caught the smell of gangrene. “Whew! It’s not rabies,” Brian said. “But he’s sure hurt real bad. Don’t you think it’s best I put him out of his misery?” The word “yes” was on my lips, when Becky emerged from the bushes. “Is Brian going to make him well, Mama?” She hauled the animal’s head onto her lap once more, and buried her face in the coarse, dark fur. This time I wasn’t the only one who heard the thumping of the lobo’s tail. That afternoon my husband, Bill, and our veterinarian came to see the wolf. Observing the trust the animal had in our child, Doc said to me, “Suppose you let Becky and me tend to this fella together.” Minutes later, as child and vet reassured the stricken beast, the hypodermic found its mark. The yellow eyes closed. “He’s asleep now,” said the vet. “Give me a hand here, Bill.” They hauled the massive body out of the stump. The animal must have been over five feet long and well over a hundred pounds. Bullets had mutilated the wolf’s hip and leg. Doc did what he had to in order to clean the wound and then gave the patient a dose of penicillin. Next day he returned and inserted a metal rod to replace the missing bone. “Well, it looks like you’ve got yourselves a Mexican lobo,” Doc said. “He looks to be about three years old, and even as pups, they don’t tame real easy. I’m amazed at the way this big fella took to your little girl. But often there’s something that goes on between children and animals that we grownups don’t understand.” Becky named the wolf Ralph and carried food and water to the stump every day. Ralph’s recovery was not easy. For three months he dragged his injured hindquarters by clawing the earth with his front paws. From the way he lowered his eyelids when we massaged the limbs, we knew he endured excruciating pain, but not once did he ever try to bite the hands of those who cared for him. Four months to the day, Ralph finally stood unaided. His huge frame shook as long-unused muscles were activated. Bill and I patted and praised him. But it was Becky to whom he turned for a gentle word, a kiss or a smile. He responded to these gestures of love by swinging his busy tail like a pendulum. As his strength grew, Ralph followed Becky all over the ranch. Together they roamed the desert pastures, the golden-haired child often stooping low, sharing with the great lame wolf whispered secrets of nature’s wonders. When evening came, he returned like a silent shadow to his hollow stump that had surely become his special place. As time went on, although he lived primarily in the brush, the habits of this timid creature endeared him more and more to all of us. His reaction to people other than our family was yet another story. Strangers terrified him, yet his affection for and protectiveness of Becky brought him out of the desert and fields at the sight of every unknown pickup or car. Occasionally he’d approach, lips taut, exposing a nervous smile full of chattering teeth. More often he’d simply pace and finally skulk off to his tree stump, perhaps to worry alone. Becky’s first day of school was sad for Ralph. After the bus left, he refused to return to the yard. Instead, he lay by the side of the road and waited. When Becky returned, he limped and tottered in wild, joyous circles around her. This welcoming ritual persisted throughout her school years. Although Ralph seemed happy on the ranch, he disappeared into the surrounding deserts and mountains for several weeks during the spring mating season, leaving us to worry about his safety. This was calving season, and fellow ranchers watched for coyotes, cougars, wild dogs and, of course, the lone wolf. But Ralph was lucky. During Ralph’s twelve years on our ranch, his habits remained unchanged. Always keeping his distance, he tolerated other pets and endured the activities of our busy family, but his love for Becky never wavered. Then the spring came when our neighbor told us he’d shot and killed a she-wolf and grazed her mate, who had been running with her. Sure enough, Ralph returned home with another bullet wound. Becky, nearly fifteen years old now, sat with Ralph’s head resting on her lap. He, too, must have been about fifteen and was gray with age. As Bill removed the bullet, my memory raced back through the years. Once again I saw a chubby three-year-old girl stroking the head of a huge black wolf and heard a small voice murmuring, “It’s all right, boy. Don’t be afraid. That’s my mama, and she loves you, too.” Although the wound wasn’t serious, this time Ralph didn’t get well. Precious pounds fell away. The once luxurious fur turned dull and dry, and his trips to the yard in search of Becky’s companionship ceased. All day long he rested quietly. But when night fell, old and stiff as he was, he disappeared into the desert and surrounding hills. By dawn his food was gone. The morning came when we found him dead. The yellow eyes were closed. Stretched out in front of the oak stump, he appeared but a shadow of the proud beast he once had been. A lump in my throat choked me as I watched Becky stroke his shaggy neck, tears streaming down her face. “I’ll miss him so,” she cried. Then as I covered him with a blanket a strange rustling sound from inside the stump startled us. Becky looked inside. Two tiny yellow eyes peered back and puppy fangs glinted in the semidarkness. Ralph’s pup! Had a dying instinct told him his motherless offspring would be safe here, as he had been, with those who loved him? Hot tears spilled on baby fur as Becky gathered the trembling bundle in her arms. “It’s all right, little Ralphie,” she murmured. “Don’t be afraid. That’s my mom, and she loves you, too.” 哥哥姐姐都去上學以後,對我們三歲的女兒貝基來説,農場就成為一個寂寞的地方了。她渴望夥伴。牛馬太大了,她無法抱在懷裏。農業機械對這麼小的孩子也太危險。我們答應給她買個寵物,不過同時,“虛構”的寵物每天都會出現。 我剛洗完午飯的盤子,紗窗門就砰地被撞開,貝基跑了進來,興奮地滿臉通紅。“媽媽!”她叫着,“快來看看我的新狗狗!我已經喂他兩次水了,他都快渴死了!” 我歎息了一聲,又是一隻貝基虛構的小狗。 “來呀,媽媽。”她使勁拖着我的牛仔褲,棕色的眼睛裏透出乞求的眼神。“他一直在叫——他還不會走路呢!” “不會走路?”這倒是一個預想不到的變化。她以前編造的狗狗都會做令人驚異的事情。其中一隻會在鼻尖上平穩地頂着一個球不讓它掉下來,另一隻挖洞穿越了地球,從另一端掉到星球上去了,還有一隻在能在鋼絲上跳舞。怎麼突然有了一隻不會走路的狗狗呢? “好吧,寶貝。”我説。還來不及跟上她呢,貝基就已經消失在豆科灌木叢中了。 “你在哪兒啊?”我喊道。 “就在橡樹樁這兒。快點呀媽媽!” 我撥開帶刺的枝葉,抬手遮住亞利桑那州的太陽。突然一種麻木的寒戰擢緊了我。她就在那兒,蹲坐在腳後跟上,腳尖陷進沙子裏,緊抱在腿上的明明是一隻狼的腦袋!腦袋下面是巨大的黑色肩膀。身體的其他部位完全隱藏在一顆倒下的橡樹的中空的樹樁中。 “貝基,”我覺得嘴裏發乾,“不要動。”我走近一些。淡黃色的眼睛眯起來了,黑色的嘴脣繃緊了,露出兩排兩寸長的犬牙。突然,狼有些戰慄。牙齒噼啪作響,喉嚨裏發出令人憐憫的哀鳴。 “沒關係,寶貝,”貝基輕柔地安慰他。“不要害怕,那是我的媽媽,她也愛你。” 接着令人難以置信的事情發生了。當她的小手撫摸那顆碩大而毛髮粗濃的腦袋時,我聽到從樹根深處傳來狼尾巴的輕微撞擊聲,砰,砰,砰!這個動物到底怎麼了?我感到奇怪。為何他站不起來?我不知道,也不敢再朝前邁一步。 我瞟了一眼空空的盛水的碗,我立刻想起了上週在從一個漏管子中咬破粗麻布掙扎着要到達水邊的經歷着最後痛苦的患狂犬病的五隻臭鼬。是的!狂犬病!全國都張貼了這種警告標誌,貝基不也説過 “他快渴死了” 嗎?我必須讓貝基離開。 “寶貝,”我的喉嚨變緊了,“把他的頭放下,到媽媽這兒來。我們得去求助。” 貝基很不情願地站起來,又在狼的鼻子上親了一下,才慢慢走進我的懷抱中。悲哀的黃眼睛跟隨着她。接着它的腦袋就墮落到了地上。看到貝基安全地回到了我的懷抱,我趕緊向牲口棚跑去。我們的牧牛工布賴恩正要備馬去北方牧場查看小母牛。“布賴恩!快來。貝基在窪地附近的橡樹樁發現了一匹狼!我想它一定染上了狂犬病。” “我馬上去,”他説。我趕緊回到屋裏,希望貝基能快點午睡。我不想讓她看到布賴恩從簡易住處中出來,我知道他有槍。 “但我想給狗狗喝水,”她哭起來。我吻了吻她,給她一些填充玩具讓她玩。 “寶貝兒,現在讓媽媽和布賴恩去照料他。”我説。片刻之後,我又來到橡樹樁那裏。 布賴恩站在那裏看了一會這個野獸。“這確實是墨西哥大灰狼。”他補充互説,“而且是個大個。” 狼發出哀叫聲。接着我們都聞到了壞疽的味道。“喲!不是狂犬病,”布賴恩説。“但他肯定受了重傷。你覺得我結束他的痛苦不是最好的嗎?” 我馬上就要説出“是的”,這時貝基從灌木叢中出現了。“布賴恩會把他治好的,是嗎媽媽?”她把狼腦袋又拖到自己的腿上,把臉埋進粗糙而缺乏光亮的毛皮中。這次不僅我一個人聽到了大灰狼尾巴的砰砰聲。 那天下午我的丈夫比爾和我們的獸醫來看望狼。看到這隻動物對我們孩子的信任,醫生對我説,“你就讓貝基和我一起照管他吧。” “他現在睡着了,”獸醫説。“比爾,幫我一下忙。”他們一起把狼沉重的身體從樹樁中拉出來。他至少得有五英尺長,一百多磅。子彈傷害了他的臀部和腿部。醫生為了清洗傷口做了該做的一切,又為這匹受傷的狼服了一劑青黴素。第二天他又來了,嵌入一根金屬棒來代替失去的骨頭。 “哎呀,看來你們得到的是隻墨西哥大灰狼,”醫生説。“他看來差不多有3歲了,即便是幼崽,他們也不太容易馴服。令我驚異的是這個大傢伙對你家小女孩的方式。不過常常孩子和動物之間會發生一些我們成人無法理解的事情。” 貝基給這匹狼取了個名字叫拉爾夫,每天都把食物和水送到樹樁那裏。拉爾夫康復起來並不容易。三個月來,他都用前爪扒着地,拖着受傷的後腿部分移動。但當我們給他按摩萎縮的肢體時,從他搭拉下眼皮的方式我們知道他經受着極度的痛苦,然而他從沒有試圖咬過照顧他的人的手。 到今天就四個月了,拉爾夫終於獨立地站立起來。當長期未活動的肌肉活躍起來,他龐大的體格有些搖晃。比爾和我輕輕拍了拍他,對他加以讚揚。但他卻轉向了貝基以得到一句温柔的話、一個吻或者一個微笑。他則像個鐘擺似的頻繁搖着尾巴迴應她愛的表示。隨着他的力量的慢慢恢復,拉爾夫跟着貝基在整個農場裏逛遊。 他們一起在荒涼的牧場上漫遊,金髮孩子常常俯下身來,輕聲細語地與龐大的瘸腿大灰狼分享大自然的祕密奇觀。夜晚來臨時,他就像一個寂靜的影子一樣返回那個中空的樹樁,那裏理所當然成為他的專用地方。 隨着時間的流逝,儘管他主要生活在灌木叢中,這個羞怯的動物的習性卻讓我們越來越喜歡他了。他對我們家人之外的人的反應自然又不同了。陌生人使他感到害怕,然而每次看到不熟悉的小貨車或汽車時他對貝基的友愛與保護都讓他走出荒地和田野。偶爾他也會走近,雙脣繃緊,牙齒打戰,露出一個緊張的微笑。 更多的時候他只是踱步,最後又偷偷回到他的樹樁那兒,也許要獨自不安。 貝基第一天上學對拉爾夫來説是個悲傷的日子。公共汽車離開後,他拒絕回到院子裏,而是待在路邊等她回來。 貝基回來後,他狂熱而快樂地圍着她一瘸一拐地打轉。她整個上學期間他都一直堅持用這種歡迎儀式。 儘管拉爾夫在農場顯得很高興,當春天交配季節來臨時,他在附近的荒原和山上消失了好幾周,留下我們擔心他的安全。這也是裂冰的季節,同行的農場主們都在監視着叢林狼、美洲獅、豺狗,當然還有單獨出來的狼。不過拉爾夫很幸運。 拉爾夫在農場上生活的12年間,習慣一直沒變。總是保持着距離,容忍着其他的寵物,忍受着我們家忙碌的生活,但他對貝基的愛一直沒有動搖過。 接着春天來臨了,這時我們的鄰居告訴我們他開槍射死了一匹母狼,擦傷了和她一起逃亡的配偶。當然,拉爾夫帶着另一個子彈傷口回來了。貝基現在快15歲了,她坐在那兒,讓拉爾夫的頭枕在她的腿上。他肯定也差不多15歲了,隨着年齡的增長也變老了。當比爾取出子彈時,我的記憶又回到了很多年前。我彷彿又看到一個胖胖的三歲小女孩撫摸着大大的黑狼的腦袋,聽到她輕聲細語,“沒關係,寶貝,不要害怕。那是我的媽媽,她也愛你。” 儘管傷不是很嚴重,這次拉爾夫沒有好起來。寶貴的體重消瘦下來,曾經舒適的皮毛變得暗淡枯燥,他也不到院裏找貝基玩了。他一整天就是安靜地休息,但夜晚一到,儘管他老了,也不靈活了,他就消失在荒野和周圍的小山中。破曉之前他的食物不見了。早上來了,我們發現他已經死了,黃色的眼睛也已經閉上。 走在橡樹樁前面,他又出現了,但只是他曾經的高傲野獸的影子。看到貝基撫摸他那毛髮粗濃的脖頸時,我的喉嚨有些哽咽,淚水從她的臉上滾落下來。“我會非常想他的,”她哭着説。 接着,當我給他蓋上毯子時,從樹樁裏傳出的沙沙聲嚇了我們一跳。貝基往裏看了看。兩隻黃色的小眼睛正眯眼看着我們。小犬牙在半明半暗中閃耀着。拉爾夫的幼崽! 是否臨終前的本能告訴他沒有母親的孩子在這裏會很安全,就像他當初一樣,有那些愛他的人們呢?貝基把發抖的包袱的抱進懷中時熱淚滴在了幼崽的毛毛上。 “沒關係,小……拉爾夫,”她輕聲説着,“不要害怕。那是我的媽媽,她也愛你。” -