考研英語寫作小作文批改範文：邀請信（二）
0-4分
第一篇
Dear Bob,
There will be held a wonderful music concern for piano and violin in the Musical Hall of the Centre Conservatory Of Music on Junuary 15st . We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at 7:00 PM on time. This will be followed by a ticket that we have to given you by Express Email Survice before the concern. At around 6:50PM, January 15st, you may arrived to the CCOM because staff is checking our tickets ahead of time.
I really hope you can make it RSVP before 6:50PM,January 15st,2013.
Sincerely yours,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Bob，
There will be held (刪除)a wonderful music (音樂會是concert)concern for(改爲concerning) piano and violin in the Musical Hall of the Centre Conservatory Of Music on Junuary(拼寫錯誤，改爲January) 15st . We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at 7:00 PM on time. This will be followed by a ticket that we have to given you by Express Email Survice before the concern. (理解有誤，本意是讓你寫在這個occasion後面是另外一個活動)At around 6:50PM, January 15st, you may arrived to the CCOM because staff is checking our tickets ahead of time.
I really hope you can make it RSVP before 6:50PM,January 15st,2013.
Sincerely yours,
Li Ming
2分
微點評：你對模版的理解不透徹，還不清楚每部分要寫的內容，建議你看看論壇上別的同學的作文，瞭解一下每部分具體要寫什麼內容。
第二篇
Dear Mark,
There will be a volunteer activitiy in the Children's Welfare Institute Of Nanjing on this weekend . We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at 08: will be followed by one more arrangement around10:00, there will be another activity after the performance. All of us are going to Zhongshan park to have a Picnic, while helping Lily, the youngest girl in our group, to celebrity her birthday. I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the deadline for September 15th.
修改意見：
Dear Mark,
There will be a volunteer activitiy(拼寫錯誤，改爲activity) in the Children's Welfare Institute Of Nanjing on this weekend . We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at 08: will be followed by one more arrangement(此處應該寫一個具體的活動) around10:00, there will be another activity after the performance(刪除 ). All of us are going to Zhongshan park to have a Picnic, while helping Lily, the youngest girl in our group, to celebrity (改爲celebrate)her birthday.(給某人過生日，不要用help)I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the deadline for (刪除，RSVP before的意思就是在…之前通知我)September 15th.
加Sincerely yours，
你的名字
3分
微點評：要注意書信的寫作格式，你對模版的理解不透徹而且英語基礎比較薄弱，建議你多看看滿分作文。
第三篇
Dear Xiaohui,
There will a dinner party at my house on April 12, 2013. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at six o’clock in the evening; with the taking photos. This will be followed by a dinner party. At around ten o’clock, we will have face party.
I really hope you can make it, RSVP be fore April 12, we look forward to the pleasure of your company.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Xiaohui,
There will (加be)a dinner party at my house on April 12, 2013. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at six o’clock in the evening; with the taking photos.(刪除) This will be followed by {a dinner party｝. At around ten o’clock, we will have face party.(假面舞會是a masquerade ball )
I really hope you can make it, RSVP be fore April 12, we look forward to the pleasure of your company.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
3分
微點評：考研的小作文要寫到100詞，寫的太少是要被扣分的，這個模版只是給你提供了一個思路，很多內容還是需要自己填充的，另外，你開頭說有一個dinner party，那麼第二段的occasion指的就是這個party，因此This will be followed 後面要加一個新的活動，不能還是dinner party了。
第四篇
Dear Bob,
We will to hold a school-wide party for Chinese cultural exchange on Saturday next week in School Club. I am sure you would like it, as we all know it for you wonder to hear any regarding culture of China.
There occasion will starting on seven o'clock inevening, with a dinner party for convenient we understand other person. At around nine, free exchange will begin.
If you do not any primay appointment at Saturday next week, we look forward to the pleasure of your company.
Yours Truly LI Ming
修改意見：
Dear Bob,
We will to hold a school-wide party for Chinese cultural exchange on Saturday next week in School Club. I am sure you would like it, as we all know it for you wonder to hear any regarding culture of China.(不能理解你的意思)
There(改爲The) occasion will starting (will 後面加動詞原形) on (改爲at)seven o'clock in (加the)evening, with a dinner party for convenient we understand other person(不能理解你的意思). At around nine, free exchange will begin.
If you do not (加have)any primay(改爲prior) appointment at(改爲on) Saturday next week, we look forward to the pleasure of your company.
Yours Truly(t寫，加逗號)
LI Ming
2分
微點評：你的英語基礎比較薄弱，建議你多背一些滿分作文，積累一些好詞好句。
第五篇
Dear Bob,
There will be a New Year party holded by the Students' Union of Chinese Language and Literature Department at school stadium on January 1st. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at 6:00 o'clock in the evening. This will be followed by a hot dancing farewell with all students there. At around one hour later, the game concerning not only dare or truth but also table games will start.
I really hope you can make it and celebrate the festival with before December 27th.
Yours faithfully Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Bob,
There will be a New Year party holded(改爲held )by the Students' Union of Chinese Language and Literature Department at school stadium on January 1st. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at 6:00 o'clock in the evening. This will be followed by a hot dancing(改爲dance) farewell with(用詞不當，farewell with 是和…揮別的意思，而在hot dance後面還有活動) all students there. At around one hour later(at around後面加具體的時間點), the game concerning not only dare or truth but also(改爲dare or truth and ) table games will start.
I really hope you can make it and celebrate the festival with us(make it 就有後面和我們一起慶祝節日的意思了.) RSVP before December 27th.
Yours faithfully(加逗號)
Li Ming
4分
微點評：你對模版不熟悉，建議你多看看滿分作文，熟悉一下這類作文的寫作思路。對於不熟悉其詞義或用法的詞，儘量不用。
5-7分
第一篇
Dear Kate,
There will be a Christmas party at English corner on Dec.25th. We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at 6 p.m. This will be followed by a game. At around 7 p.m. a meeting will be held. I really hope you can make it. RSVP before Dec.24th.
Campus English Corner
October 22, 2012
修改意見：
Dear Kate,
There will be a Christmas party at English corner on Dec.25th. We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at 6 p.m. This will be followed by a game. At around 7 p.m. a meeting will be held. I really hope you can make it. RSVP before Dec.24th.
(加Sincerely yours，) Campus English Corner
October 22, 2012(刪除)
5分
微點評：考研小作文的字數要求是100詞左右，你的作文雖然沒有大問題，但是包含的內容太少，句型變換等也太少了。另外，要注意書信的格式。
第二篇
Dear Miss Yuan,
There will be a celebrity party for the new year in the activity room on the next Saturday. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at 6 o’clock in the evening. This will be followed by a serious of wonderful performances played by our classmates. At around 8 o’clock, we project some interaction activities to animate the atmosphere so as to promote the relationships of classmates. What’s more, we prepared some gifts to be presented to the winners.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the next Wednesday.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Miss Yuan,
There will be a celebrity(改爲celebration) party for the new year in the activity room on the next Saturday. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at 6 o’clock in the evening. This will be followed by a serious(拼寫錯誤，改爲series) of wonderful performances played by our classmates. At around 8 o’clock, we project some interaction activities to animate the atmosphere so as to promote the relationships of classmates. What’s more, we prepared some gifts to be presented to the winners.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the(刪除) next Wednesday.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
7分
微點評：寫作文的時候再細心一些，注意單詞的拼寫。背單詞時要把詞義背牢。
第三篇
Dear Professor,
There will an Academic Exchange of East Asia International Law at No.1 lecture theatre on April 19, 2012. We should be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at 14:30. This will be followed by a communication about application of law of East Asia economic trade with other professors and experts come from Japan, Korea and other countries. At around 19:30, a dancing party will be holding in university auditorium.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before April 12,2012.
Law School PKU
April 5,2013
修改意見：
Dear Professor,
There will an Academic Exchange of East Asia International Law at No.1 lecture theatre on April 19, 2012. We should be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at 14:30. This will be followed by a communication about application of law of East Asia economic trade with other professors and experts come(改爲coming) from Japan , Korea and other countries. At around 19:30, a dancing party will be holding(改爲held) in university auditorium.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before April 12,2012.
加Yours sincerely,
Law School PKU
April 5,2013(刪除)
7分
微點評：注意書信的格式以及被動語態的問題。一句話裏不能有兩個謂語動詞。
第四篇
Dear Bob,
There will be a summer celebrate party for teenagers at the playground of Beijing Forgin University on this weekend. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at 9:00 to 11:00in the morning of the Weekend. This will be followed by a music gathering which you can communicate with others, also you can eat various kinds of delicious food. At around the next time to 5:00 pm, it is the free time for us to take a series of activities, such as playing cards, singing songs and so on.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the final date that I have informed to you.
Sincerely yours,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Bob,
There will be a summer celebrate party for teenagers at the playground of Beijing Forgin (拼寫錯誤，改爲Foreign)University on this weekend. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at 9:00 to 11:00(start後面接的是具體的某個時間點)in the morning of the Weekend. This will be followed by a music gathering which you can communicate with others, also you can eat various kinds of delicious food. At around the next time to(刪除) 5:00 pm, it is the free time for us to take a series of activities, such as playing cards ,singing songs and so on.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the final date that I have informed to you.(寫一個具體的時間，例如本週四)
Sincerely yours,
Li Ming
5分
微點評：你對模版的理解不夠透徹，建議你對於同一個題目，多看一些模版，然後歸納出一個自己的模版。
第五篇
Dear ,
There will be a nationwide academic communicatiom involved in the education of China in Peking University on Wendsday. We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at eight o'clock am on that day. This will be followed by a dabate on social phenomenon nowadays. At around ten o'clock, there will be a interaction between parents and their childrens.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before Tuesday.
Yours sincerely
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear ,
There will be a nationwide academic communicatiom(拼寫錯誤，改爲communication) involved in the education of China in Peking University on Wendsday(拼寫錯誤，改爲Wednesday). We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at eight o'clock am on that day(刪除). This will be followed by a dabate(拼寫錯誤，改爲debate) on social phenomennon(拼寫錯誤，改爲phenomenon) nowadays. At around ten o'clock, there will be a(改爲an) interaction between parents and their childrens(children是child複數)
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before Tuesday.
Yours sincerely(加逗號)
Li Ming
5分
微點評：寫作文時要細心一些，你的作文沒有什麼大問題，就是拼寫錯誤太多了。
8-10分
第一篇
Dear ,
There will be a conference about global environment held at auditorium in our university on January 5th. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at 9:00 in the morning. This will be followed by a brilliant speech from our foreign guests. At around 10:00 a.m., a debate of environmental issues will be given by students from both China and America.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before next Friday.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear ,
There will be a conference about global environment held at auditorium in our university on January 5th. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at 9:00 in the morning. This will be followed by a brilliant speech from our foreign guests. At around 10:00 a.m., a debate of environmental issues will be given by students from both China and America.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before next Friday.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
9分
微點評：作文寫得很好，沒有語法錯誤，但是內容要是再豐富一些會更好。
第二篇
Dear Xiaoqiang,
There will be a banquet to celebrate the admission of Beijing University for our best friend Tracy in my home on January 5,2013. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at five O'clock in the afternoon. This will be followed by a hearty dinner which my wife will cook. At around seven O'clock,we will hold a small dancing ball that I think everybody would enjoy it.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before December 28,2012.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Xiaoqiang,
There will be a banquet to celebrate the admission of Beijing University for our best friend Tracy in my home on January 5,2013. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at five O'clock in the afternoon. This will be followed by a hearty dinner which my wife will cook. At around seven O'clock,we will hold a small dancing ball that I think everybody would enjoy it.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before December 28,2012.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
10分
微點評：作文寫得非常不錯，繼續保持！
第三篇
Dear Mary,
There will be a high school reunion at Lijiang Hall of Cuihu Hotel on May 15th. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at 2:30 p.m. This will be followed by a speech given by monitor in memory of our headmaster. At around 5:00 p.m, there will be a banquet held by student union of our school, in which Chef Monica and her team will provide various kinds of classical school snacks to all of the guests.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before this weekend.
Yours truly,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Mary,
There will be a high school reunion at Lijiang Hall of Cuihu Hotel on May 15th. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at 2:30 p.m. This will be followed by a speech given by monitor in memory of our headmaster. At around 5:00 p.m, there will be a banquet held by student union of our school, in which Chef Monica and her team will provide various kinds of classical (用詞不當，改爲classic) school snacks to all of the guests.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before this weekend.
Yours truly,
Li Ming
9分
微點評：作文寫得很不錯，如果對於classical和 classic 分不清的話，你就可以不寫，寫錯了反而要扣分。
第四篇
Dear Xiaoming,
There will be a ceremony for new students in our school hall on October would be honored to have you there with us occasion will start at seven o’clock in the evening will be followed by a dinner party including Chinese and English songs , modern dance and instrumental performance. At around ten, we will hold a small ball, in which students can have further understanding about each other and our school.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before this Friday afternoon.
Yours sincerely，
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Xiaoming,
There will be a ceremony for new students in our school hall on October would be honored to have you there with us occasion will start at seven o’clock in the evening will be followed by a dinner party including Chinese and English songs , modern dance and instrumental performance. At around ten, we will hold a small ball, in which students can have further understanding about each other and our school.
I really hope you can make it. RSVP before this Friday afternoon.
Yours sincerely，
Li Ming
10分
微點評：這篇作文寫得非常好，基本沒有問題，繼續保持！
第五篇
Dear Amy,
There will be a lecture given by Lucius Annaeus Seneca at Roman Forum on the morning of August 18th, BC50. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at nine o'clock. This will be followed by a debate between scholars. At around mid-afternoon, Nero the Emperor will show himself up.
We really hope you can make it. RSVP before the third day you have got our letter. Yours truely,
River Song and the Doctor
修改意見：
Dear Amy,
There will be a lecture given by Lucius Annaeus Seneca at Roman Forum on the morning of August 18th, BC50. We would be honored to have you there with us.
The occasion will start at nine o'clock. This will be followed by a debate between scholars. At around mid-afternoon, Nero the Emperor will show himself up.
We really hope you can make it. RSVP before the third day you have got our letter. Yours truely(拼寫錯誤，改爲truly),
River Song and the Doctor
8分
微點評：作文寫得很好，就是要注意一下單詞拼寫，另外，內容最好再擴充一下。
