古德伯格 硅谷CEO兼男性女權主義者
Mr. Goldberg, who died unexpectedly on Friday, was a genial, 47-year-old Silicon Valley entrepreneur who built his latest company, SurveyMonkey, from a modest enterprise to one recently valued by investors at $2 billion. But he was also perhaps the signature male feminist of his era: the first major chief executive in memory to spur his wife to become as successful in business as he was, and an essential figure in “Lean In,” Ms. Sandberg’s blockbuster guide to female achievement.
古德伯格於上週五突然辭世，享年47歲。他是一名待人友善的硅谷創業家，他生前創辦的最後一家公司SurveyMonkey原本是個從不起眼的小企業，在他的經營之下，最近投資人給出的估值已經達到20億美元。然而他恐怕還是這個時代的男性女權主義者代表：在人們印象中，他是第一個支持妻子去爭取跟他一樣的商業成功的知名企業高管，在桑德伯格闡述女性如何取得成就的暢銷作《向前一步》(Lean In)中，他是關鍵人物。Over the weekend, even strangers were shocked at his death, both because of his relatively young age and because they knew of him as the living, breathing, car-pooling center of a new philosophy of two-career marriage.
離世消息傳出後的這個週末，連素不相識的人也表示難以置信。不僅僅是因爲他英年早逝，也因爲人們視他爲鮮活的典範，演繹着夫妻雙方都可以擁有成功事業這一新理念。
“They were very much the role models for what this next generation wants to grapple with,” said Debora L. Spar, the president of Barnard College. In a 2011 commencement speech there, Ms. Sandberg told the graduates that whom they married would be their most important career decision.
“對於希望克服這一困難的新一代年輕人來說，他們無疑是一個表率，”巴納德學院(Barnard College)院長黛博拉·L·斯巴(Debora L. Spar)說。2011年，桑德伯格告訴這裏的畢業生，擇偶將是她們人生中最重要的一項職業決策。In the play “The Heidi Chronicles,” revived on Broadway this spring, a male character who is the founder of a media company says that “I don’t want to come home to an A-plus,” explaining that his ambitions require him to marry an unthreatening helpmeet. Mr. Goldberg grew up to hold the opposite view, starting with his upbringing in progressive Minneapolis circles where “there was woman power in every aspect of our lives,” Jeffrey Dachis, a childhood friend, said in an interview.
在今年春天被重新搬上百老匯舞臺的《海蒂編年史》(The Heidi Chronicles)中，一個身爲媒體公司創始人的男性人物說：“我可不要回家還要對着一個優等生，”他解釋說若要成一番大事業，結婚對象需要是無法對自己構成威脅的伴侶。古德伯格從小就不贊同這種觀點。他在明尼阿波利斯的開明氛圍里長大，“女性的力量在生活中隨處可見，”兒時的玩伴傑弗裏·達切斯(Jeffrey Dachis)曾在採訪中說。The Goldberg parents read “The Feminine Mystique” together — in fact, Mr. Goldberg’s father introduced it to his wife, according to Ms. Sandberg’s book. In 1976, Paula Goldberg helped found a nonprofit to aid children with disabilities. Her husband, Mel, a law professor who taught at night, made the family breakfast at home.
古德伯格的父母一起讀過《女性的奧祕》(The Feminine Mystique)——事實上，是古德伯格的父親介紹讀這本書的，桑德伯格在書中說。1976年，波拉·古德伯格(Paula Goldberg)協助成立了一個救助殘疾兒童的非盈利組織。身爲法學教授的丈夫麥爾(Mel)夜裏去學校教課，早上給一家人做早餐。Later, when Dave Goldberg was in high school and his prom date, Jill Chessen, stayed silent in a politics class, he chastised her afterward. He said, “You need to speak up,” Ms. Chessen recalled in an interview. “They need to hear your voice.”
後來在高中時，古德伯格的舞會舞伴吉爾·切森(Jill Chessen)在政治課上總是很安靜，課後古德伯格責怪她：“你要勇於表達自己的意見”，切森在一次採訪中回憶道。“要讓別人聽到你的想法。”Years later, when Karin Gilford, an early employee at Launch, Mr. Goldberg’s digital music company, became a mother, he knew exactly what to do. He kept giving her challenging assignments, she recalled, but also let her work from home one day a week. After Yahoo acquired Launch, Mr. Goldberg became known for distributing roses to all the women in the office on Valentine’s Day.
幾年之後，古德伯格的數字音樂公司Launch的早期職員卡琳·吉爾福特(Karin Gilford)當上母親時，古德伯格完全知道該怎麼做。卡琳回憶道，古德伯格一直給她派發具有挑戰性的任務，但是會讓她每週在家工作一天。在雅虎(Yahoo)收購了Launch之後，古德伯格在情人節向辦公室所有女性送玫瑰花的事蹟被傳爲佳話。Ms. Sandberg, who often describes herself as bossy-in-a-good-way, enchanted him when they became friendly in the mid-1990s. He “was smitten with her, even when she was engaged and married to someone else,” Ms. Chessen remembered. After Ms. Sandberg’s marriage ended, she dated other people, but Mr. Goldberg still hung around, even helping her and her then-boyfriend move, recalled Bob Roback, a friend and co-founder of Launch. When they finally married in 2004, friends remember thinking how similar the two were, and that the qualities that might have made Ms. Sandberg intimidating to some men drew Mr. Goldberg to her even more.
桑德伯格經常形容自己行事專橫，但是是好的那種，1990年代中期和古德伯格相識後，古德伯格對她十分癡迷。切森回憶說：“古德伯格徹底愛上她了，哪怕她已經跟別人訂婚、結婚。”桑德伯格的朋友、Launch聯合創始人鮑勃·羅拜克(Bob Roback)回憶道，桑德伯格結束了第一次婚姻後和別人約會，古德伯格仍舊圍着她轉，甚至幫她和她當時的男朋友搬家。2004年，他們終於結婚了，那時候朋友們纔想起來他們倆是多麼的相似，桑德伯格的個性可能嚇跑了一些男人，卻讓古德伯格對她更加着迷。Over the next decade, Mr. Goldberg and Ms. Sandberg pioneered new ways of capturing information online, had a son and then a daughter, became immensely wealthy, and hashed out their who-does-what-in-this-marriage issues. Mr. Goldberg’s commute from the Bay Area to Los Angeles became a strain, so he relocated, later joking that he “lost the coin toss” of where they would live. He paid the bills, she planned the birthday parties, and both often left their offices at 5:30 so they could eat dinner with their children before resuming work afterward.
在接下來的十年裏，古德伯格和桑德伯格開創了獲取在線信息的新方式，生育了一對兒女，獲得了極大的財富，並且解決了夫妻分工的問題。對古德伯格來說，往返舊金山灣區和洛杉磯兩地上下班成爲了一種負擔，所以就選擇了搬家，後來他還開玩笑說自己在擲硬幣決定住哪裏時輸了。他付賬單，她籌辦生日派對，兩人經常在5:30離開辦公室，先和孩子們一起吃晚餐，然後再接着工作。When Mellody Hobson, a friend and finance executive, wrote a chapter of “Lean In” about women of color for the college edition of the book, Mr. Goldberg gave her feedback on the draft, a clue to his deep involvement. He joked with Ms. Hobson that she was too long-winded, like Ms. Sandberg, but aside from that, he said he loved the chapter, she said in an interview.
夫婦倆的朋友、金融高管麥勒迪·霍布森(Mellody Hobson)一次爲《向前一步》的大學生版撰寫了一個關於有色人種女性的章節。古德伯格對初稿給予了反饋，體現出他對這本書的積極參與。古德伯格開玩笑說，霍布森和桑德伯格一樣，說起話來滔滔不絕，不過，他表示很喜歡霍布森撰寫的這一章節，霍布森在採訪中說。By then, Mr. Goldberg was a figure of fascination who inspired a “where can I get one of those?” reaction among many of the women who had read the best seller “Lean In.” Some lamented that Ms. Sandberg’s advice hinged too much on marrying a Dave Goldberg, who was humble enough to plan around his wife, attentive enough to worry about which shoes his young daughter would wear, and rich enough to help pay for the help that made the family’s balancing act manageable.
古德伯格那時候已經成爲萬人迷，看過暢銷書《向前一步》的許多女性讀者們會想，哪裏才能找到這樣的一個男人。有些人則對該書感到失望，認爲桑德伯格的建議過於強調要嫁給戴夫·古德伯格這樣的男人：一個足夠謙遜而圍着妻子轉的丈夫，一個體貼入微關心小女兒應該穿哪雙鞋子的爸爸，一個足夠有錢請人幫忙以維持家庭平衡的男人。Now that he is gone, and Ms. Sandberg goes from being half of a celebrated partnership to perhaps the business world’s most prominent single mother, the pages of “Lean In” carry a new sting of loss.
古德伯格的去世使桑德伯格從知名夫妻拍檔的一員變成了商界最有名的單親母親，《向前一步》中的文字添上了一種痛失至親的傷感。“We are never at 50-50 at any given moment — perfect equality is hard to define or sustain — but we allow the pendulum to swing back and forth between us,” she wrote in 2013, adding that they were looking forward to raising teenagers together.
“我們從來都不是五十對五十的狀態——完全的平等很難定義或者維持——但我們願意讓彼此之間的鐘擺來回搖晃。”，桑德伯格在2013年寫到，並且表示他們很期待一起養育子女。“Fortunately, I have Dave to figure it out with me,” she wrote.
“幸運的是，戴夫會和我一起想辦法解決”，桑德伯格寫道。
