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我的婚姻是開放式的,但我們都沒有和其他人發生關係

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I'm in an open marriage. Well, to be simultaneously more specific: I'm in a nonmonogamous marriage.

我的婚姻是開放式的。同時,更具體一點,我的婚姻並不是一夫一妻制的。

An "open" marriage, in the nontraditional world, means that the couple may be having sex with other people but with no emotion involved. In contrast, in a "poly-amorous" relationship, it means the couple is having sex with others and may also be having full-fledged relationships with others.

在非傳統的世界中,"開放式"婚姻意味着夫妻雙方可以和他人發生沒有感情的性關係。相反,在"多元感情"的關係中,這意味着夫妻可以和他人發生性關係,也可以與他人產生感情。

For my husband and I, a non-monogamous marriage means that we're not subscribing to the traditional notion of sexual monogamy being required in a marriage. It means that we don't believe that the only way to be sexual in a marriage is with each other. It means that we're okay with the idea of sexual exploration.

於我和我的丈夫而言,非一夫一妻制的婚姻意味着我們不贊成婚姻必須一夫一妻的傳統觀念。這意味着我們認爲婚姻中的性關係不單存在於彼此間。這意味着我們對性探索的想法也是可以接受的。

我的婚姻是開放式的,但我們都沒有和其他人發生關係

You see, the importance of an "open" marriage to me has nothing to do with getting to have sex with others, or having sex with others, or planning to have sex with others. Those factors are things that most people think of when they think of an open marriage, but they are secondary to the most important part of an open marriage: the openness.

於我而言,"開放式"婚姻的重要性與能夠和他人發生性關係或打算與他人發生性關係無關。大多數人想到開放式婚姻就會想到這些因素,但這些只是開放式婚姻的次要因素,首要因素還是:開放。

I have never been a big fan of being restricted or constrained in any way. For a long time, I railed against the idea of commitment in any and all forms. It was for this exact reason that while there was no great difficulty in my deciding to get married to the only man I've ever met that made me believe in the idea of "The One," there was some difficulty in adjusting to the idea of "marriage." My husband knew, from the moment he met me, that I wasn't the traditional sort, so neither of us ever thought we'd have anything other than a non-monogamous marriage. That said, even adapting to the idea of a non-monogamous "marriage" was difficult.

我從來都不喜歡被限制。很長時間以來,我都反對任何形式的承諾。正因如此,雖然在決定與我相識的唯一一個讓我有"就是他了"念頭的男人結婚時,我沒有遇到太大阻礙,但適應"婚姻"這個念頭卻有點困難。從遇到我的那一刻起,丈夫就知道我不是傳統的女人,所以我們從來都未曾想過非一夫一妻制以外的其它婚姻。也就是說,即使習慣非一夫一妻制的"婚姻"概念也是十分困難的。

My husband and I both had a strong desire to understand each other and make our marriage work. I, of course, wanted to try to open my "commitment" boundaries in order to create a beautiful marriage with my husband. He wanted to try to understand non-monogamy, so that we could both be open about our desires.

我和我丈夫都非常希望能夠理解彼此,希望能好好經營我們的愛情。當然,我也希望能越過自己的"承諾"界限,和丈夫共建一個美滿的婚姻。他也想試着理解非一夫一妻制,這樣我們就能敞開心扉,互訴衷腸。

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