作爲奇葩的10種好處(上)

In today's world, we are often taught that being kind and respectful is the right way to get what we want. After all, the Golden Rule does state to treat others how you'd like to be treated yourself. However, being too nice could have a downside or two. Sometimes you need to make the tough decisions, blow off some steam on an innocent person, or act like a cocky know-it-all. In other words, sometimes you just need to act like a jerk. Believe it or not, acting like a jerk can sometimes pay off.

當今世界，我們總是被教導做一個待人友善、懂禮貌的人，這樣才能達成自己的目標。畢竟，"己所不欲，勿施於人"可是黃金法則，但做老好人也會有消極的一面。有時候你需要做艱難的抉擇，可能會傷及無辜，或者表現得像一個狂妄的萬事通。換句話說，就是有時候你得變成"奇葩"。信不信由你，有時候"奇葩"反倒能有所收穫。

sing To Apologize Makes You Feel Better

10.拒絕道歉會讓自己好受

When we apologize, we acknowledge that we have done wrong and that we want to move forward on a better path. While this is a generally good rule to follow, it turns out that not apologizing might make you feel even better.

我們道歉，就是承認自己的錯誤，並且想要往更好的方向發展。一般說來，這是個不錯的方法，但是我們發現，拒絕道歉甚至可能讓你感覺更好。

A study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology had researcher Tyler Okimoto ask 228 participants to recall a time they had committed a wrongdoing. He then asked whether or not they apologized. The offenses ranged from cutting someone off in traffic to serious crimes like theft. The participants were divided into random groups and asked to compose an email explaining either why they were sorry or why they were not sorry. He found that those who didn't apologize ended up feeling better about themselves. One explanation is that an apology is an admission of guilt that gives the other party the upper hand. It gives the other person power over the apologizer as they can decide whether they want to accept or reject the apology. It also allows them to feel like they are morally justified in casting judgment upon the apologizer.

《歐洲社會心理學雜誌》上發表過一篇論文，研究者泰勒·衝本讓228位參與者回想他們曾犯下的一個錯誤，然後問他們是否爲自己犯下的過錯道歉。罪行從常見的在開車時擋在別人面前到盜竊這樣的重罪都有。參與者被隨機分爲兩組，並要求他們寫一封郵件來解釋他們感到抱歉與否的原因。他發現，那些拒絕道歉的人寫到最後自我感覺更良好。有一種說法是，一旦道歉就等於承認自己的錯誤，這樣就會讓對方佔上風。那麼就給了對方控制道歉者的權利，他們可以選擇接受或者拒絕道歉，同時他們也會認爲他們隨意評判道歉者是符合道義的行爲。

ty Salespeople Sell More

9.傲慢的售貨員銷售更多

The customer is always right—unless you're selling a high-end luxury item. In that case, the customer probably has terrible taste in fashion and is likely an awful person who isn't even good enough to polish your shoes.

顧客永遠是上帝——除非你賣的是高檔奢侈品。在這種情況下，顧客的時尚品味可能非常糟糕，還可能是個給你擦鞋都不夠格的人。

You might think that acting like a pretentious snob would be enough to drive any customer away from your business forever, but you would be wrong. A study from the University of British Columbia found that snobby salespeople who sell luxury brands are more likely to sell more. The researchers found that participants who interacted with rude salespeople were more likely to express a desire to own the brand that was being sold because they wanted to feel like they were part of an exclusive "in-group." In other words, being rejected made them want to conform and fit in. It is important to note that this only works for high-end brands like Gucci and Neiman Marcus, not for mass-market brands. The salesperson also had to embody the brand that they were selling; the effect wouldn't work if the salespeople were sloppy or unkempt. Rudeness is also a tactic that only seems to work in the short run. It may convince someone to buy something on impulse, but the effect will diminish over time.

你也許覺得表現出一副傲慢勢利的樣子，就可以讓顧客不再光顧你的生意，那麼你就大錯特錯了。不列顛哥倫比亞大學的一項研究發現，在奢侈品銷售領域，傲慢的售貨員賣出的東西可能更多。研究人員發現，與傲慢售貨員交涉過的顧客似乎更願意表現出自己對斷貨商品的購買慾望，因爲他們想成爲"圈子"獨特的一員。換句話說，被冷落使得顧客更想得到認可，融入進奢侈品圈子裏。需要注意的是，這裏說的僅限於高端奢侈品圈子，比如古馳、美國尼曼，而非大衆品牌。售貨員本身也要能夠體現出高端品牌的品質，如果售貨員表現得無精打采或是蓬頭垢面，那就沒有顧客會來光顧生意。當然，表現得傲慢無禮也只是個短期策略。這種方法可能會使顧客一時衝動買下商品，但隨着時間的推移，此方法的效果就會大大下降。

ring Increases Pain Tolerance

8.爆粗口讓人更能忍受疼痛

A lot of us have sworn after hitting our head, accidentally walking into a glass door, or screwing up big time even though we know that curse words are often looked down upon by society at large. Four-letter words often carry negative connotations that nobody ever wants to hear, so these words are supposed to be reserved for great moments of frustration and anger. They might make others uncomfortable, but there is scientific evidence that curse words might make the user more comfortable when faced with pain or discomfort.

即使我們知道髒話會讓社會上很多人嗤之以鼻，但很多人還是會在被砸到腦袋、不小心撞到玻璃門，或者浪費大把時間之後咒罵兩句。髒話通常帶有負面意義，沒人想要聽，所以這些話不到挫敗和憤怒之時就不要衝口而出。雖然髒話可能會讓其他人不舒服，但有科學證據顯示，髒話會讓說的人在經受痛苦或不適時好受些。

Richard Stephens and his colleagues at the Keele University School of Psychology conducted a study to demonstrate how swearing might help affect someone's pain tolerance. The researchers gathered 67 participants and asked them to make two lists of five words. The first list contained words one might say after accidentally smashing his or her thumb with a hammer. The second list was composed of words that could be used to describe a table. The participants were then instructed to hold their hand in a bucket of room temperature water for three minutes in order to allow their hand adjust to the temperature before then submerging it into icy cold water. Half of the participants were asked to repeat the set of words that they might say if they hit their thumbs with a hammer, and the other half were asked to repeat the set of words that describe a table. The participants who repeated the curse words were not only able to keep their hand underwater for longer periods of time, but they also reported experiencing less pain. Swearing also apparently increased the participants' heart rates. The researchers believe that swearing helps increase pain tolerance because it, much like pain, helps invoke negative emotions, which sends the body into a fight-or-flight response that increases heart rate and decreases pain.

基爾大學心理學學院的理查德·史蒂芬和他的同事們進行了一項研究，探究爆粗口是怎樣影響人的疼痛耐受度。研究人員徵集了67名參與者並要求他們列出兩張各包含5個詞的清單，第一張清單中要寫出人們意外被錘子砸中拇指時可能說的詞，第二張清單則要包括五個用來描述桌子的詞。隨後，他們請參與者把手放進室溫下的水桶裏浸泡三分鐘以使他們的手適應這個溫度，接着再將手浸入冰水中。一半的參與者被要求重複被錘子砸到拇指時會說的話，另一半則要重複描述桌子的詞。那些參與者不斷爆粗口的不僅可以將手浸在水中更長時間，也顯示出他們承受的痛感更輕微。另外，爆粗口會顯著增加參與者的心率。研究人員認爲，爆粗口讓人更能忍受疼痛是因爲，像疼痛一樣，髒話引發了負面情緒，使身體進入應激反應狀態，從而提高心率減少痛感。

laining Is Good For You

7.抱怨對你有好處

People usually don't enjoy listening to somebody else needlessly complain. The situation quickly becomes miserable. However, there is a silver lining. There are actually quite a few benefits to complaining, including the fact that doing so can actually make you happier.

通常人們都不喜歡聽別人沒有必要的抱怨，因爲聽完整個人就不好了。然而，抱怨還是有幾分可取之處的。實際上抱怨着實有不少好處，其中就包括能讓人更開心。

Professor Robin Kowalski from Clemson University studied over 400 men and women who listed their complaints about a current or former partner before being asked to fill out a questionnaire regarding their happiness, mindfulness, and relationship satisfaction. Kowalski found that those who complained were indeed happier, but only if they complained with the intent of achieving a certain goal rather than just mindlessly complaining. In other words, Kowalski found that the most productive complaints are ones that serve a purpose. Complaining, when done the right way, can actually help us accomplish great things. You can use complaints to your advantage in order to analyze all the problems in your life and sort out which are truly worth worrying about and which can be fixed. Try organizing all of your complaints and decide which you have no control over (and therefore can't fix) and which you actually can fix so that you can then proceed to develop a solution. Just don't make your solution too difficult to accomplish, or you might wind up complaining even more.

克萊姆森大學的羅賓·科沃斯基教授研究了超過400名男女，讓他們列出對現任或前任伴侶的抱怨不滿，然後填寫一份關於幸福感、意識和關係滿意度的調查問卷。科沃斯基發現那些抱怨的人確實會更幸福，但是隻有在他們爲實現某種確定目標而抱怨纔有效果，而不只是盲目抱怨。換句話說，科沃斯基發現最有效的抱怨是以目的爲前提的。當抱怨用入正途，它們着實可以幫我們完成很多重要的事。你可以巧用抱怨來分析生活中遇到的所有問題，找出哪些是真正值得擔心，哪些又是可以解決的。我們要試着管理自己的抱怨，決定出哪些是不可控的（因此不能解決的），哪些實際上是可以解決的，進而可以制定解決方案。不過，你可不要讓解決方法太難而無法實現，不然抱怨會更多。

People Get Paid More

6.刻薄的人工資更高

Have you ever heard that "nice guys finish last" or that "it pays to be a jerk"? It turns out that both those phrases might be somewhat true—jerks literally get paid more money at work. Researchers from Cornell University, University of Western Ontario, and University of Notre Dame looked at the salaries of various men and women and found that those who were more "agreeable" also had a significantly lower salary.

你聽說過"好人最後總是輸給蠢人"或者"做個混蛋！"嗎？這些俗語有時候是對的，因爲刻薄的人確實工資更高！來自康奈爾大學、西安大略大學和聖母大學的研究者調查了各種人羣的收入，發現那些所謂"討人喜歡"的員工的工資很明顯要少一些。

Younger and agreeable men suffer the pay disparity as they earn almost $7,000 less than their meaner counterparts. In a follow-up study that included older men, the gap widened to over $10,000. That's not to say that women don't suffer as well. The first study found that agreeable women make $1,100 less than disagreeable women. The follow-up study found that agreeable women make about $3,000 less than their disagreeable counterparts. There could be several reasons for this. Less agreeable people are probably a lot better at negotiating salaries and able to make more tough decisions. The gap could be widest for men because men who are more passive are often seen as less masculine and less competent for leadership roles.

那些年輕、討人喜歡的男性員工比吝嗇的同事們年收入少了近7000美元。在接下來的調查統計中，年長男性員工的收入，與其差距高達10,000美元！女性員工的情況也不容樂觀。第一次調查發現，討人喜歡的女性員工比刻薄的女性員工年收入少了1,100美元。到第二次調查時，差距擴大到了3,000美元。有很多原因可以解釋這個現象。吝嗇的人會對工資斤斤計較，並且能夠做出一些艱難的決定。男性的收入差距更大，是因爲那些做事被動的人常常優柔寡斷，缺乏領導層崗位的競爭能力。

審校：莊粉玲 來源：前十網