哈佛畢業生親述 我在哈佛的經歷簡直是噩夢
Eric Kester experienced the Harvard no one talks about.
埃裏克-凱斯特從沒向別人提起過他所經歷的別樣哈佛生活。
His tenureat Harvard is the stuff of nightmares. He survived a brush with a cheating ring, being locked out of his dorm on the first day of school in just his boxers, and being the only one of his friends to move home jobless after graduation.
他的哈佛學習經歷如同噩夢一般。考試時險些作弊，入學第一天僅穿一條四角短褲把自己鎖在宿舍外，畢業後朋友都找到了工作而自己卻待業在家。
Kester, who graduated in 2008, admits that he barely survived "the world's most famous university," and he recapsit all in his recently released tell-all memoir, "That Book About Harvard."
2008年畢業的凱斯特承認，他是勉強從這所“世界最著名高等學府”畢業的。在他近期發表的自傳體回憶錄《有關哈佛的那本書》中，又全盤重述了那段經歷。
Kester wrote a humor column for The Crimson, Harvard's student newspaper, and wrote for after graduating. Once a publisher read about his mishapsat Harvard, Kester was encouraged to write a book.
凱斯特曾爲哈佛校報《緋紅》撰寫過一個搞笑欄目，畢業後還爲網站投稿。一個出版商偶爾讀到關於他在哈佛的悲慘經歷，就鼓勵他 寫作出書。
"Everyone seemed more accomplished than me, better than me," Kester said. "That's a lot of the same anxiety at any college, but it's really intensifiedthere at Harvard."
“大家看起來都比我成功，比我優秀，” 凱斯特說，“任何大學的很多學生都存在這樣的焦慮，可實際上哈佛學生的感覺來得更強烈。”
Kester's lack of confidence was justified: At Harvard, he was surrounded by brilliant minds, including Mark Zuckerberg, who was one of his classmates. Kester also joked (well, actually he was serious) that everyone at Harvard was valedictorianof their high school class.
凱斯特缺乏自信也在情理之中，哈佛大學裏人才濟濟， Facebook的創始人馬克-扎克伯格就曾經是他的同學。凱斯特還開玩笑說（其實他是認真的）：哈佛學生都曾代表他們的高中班級致過告別辭。
Some of the facts in the book are skewed and names changed. But Kester assures readers that the craziest stuff in his memoir—the events that seem impossible, like being caught in his underwear and experiencing party mishaps—actually did happen.
書中一些事實有些出入，人物名字也做了改動，但凱斯特向讀者保證，自傳中最瘋狂的事情——貌似不可能發生的那些事情的確發生了，例如僅穿着內褲在衆目睽睽下亮相，以及晚會遭遇悲慘命運等。
"I tell my parents it didn't actually happen though," Kester said. "It makes them feel better."
凱斯特說：“我告訴父母這些故事是虛構的，才使他們感覺好一點。”
Kester couldn't catch a break from the start. On his first day at school, freshman move-in day, he locked himself out of his dorm room. He was wearing just his boxers. To get the spare key to his room, Kester had to walk across Harvard Yard, which was filled with hundreds of students and parents, in just his underwear.
黴運從一開始就纏上了凱斯特。入學第一天也就是就是新生入學日，他把自己鎖在宿舍門外，當時只穿一條內褲。如此裝束的凱斯特必須穿過聚集着上千名學生和家長的哈佛校園，才能拿到備用鑰匙。
"All these classmates I wanted to impress essentially just saw me do a walk of shame," Kester said. "It made every interaction after that much more anxiety ridden."
“基本上所有我的同學都目睹了這令人難堪的一幕，我本來想給他們留下好印象的。”凱斯特說，“這使我在以後的同學交往中更加憂心忡忡。”
Kester continued to struggle with academics and what he wanted to major in. The pressure of Harvard's culture started to push him in the wrong direction.
凱斯特的學術和專業道路同樣坎坷不平。來自哈佛文化的壓力開始把他推向錯誤的方向。
Calculusquickly became the biggest challenge for Kester, who originally was a business major, but then switched to anthropology.
凱斯特最初主修商科，微積分很快成爲最令他頭痛的科目，然後他轉修人類學。
Cue the cheating club. Classmates knew Kester was struggling in classes and looking for an easy way to succeed. He had a class with someone in a cheating ring, who introduced him to the seedyworld of cheaters at one of the world's most prestigiousuniversities. "It kind of found me," he said.
作弊俱樂部注意到他。同學們都知道凱斯特在學習上焦頭爛額，而且正在尋找成功的捷徑。他和某作弊俱樂部的一位成員同時上過課，這位同學把他帶入世界上最負盛名的高等學府之一哈佛污濁的作弊生世界。“可以說，它發現了我，”他說。
The cheating ring was here to help and Kester's contact wanted to give him all the information about the most common ways to cheat. The most utilized and easiest way to cheat at Harvard is hiding answers in the bathroom. The cheating ring encouraged Kester to visit the bathroom during tests and take advantage of the answers hidden there, but at the last moment he backed out, afraid to jeopardize his academic career.
作弊俱樂部旨在爲作弊者提供幫助，凱斯特的聯繫人希望他掌握最常用的作弊手段。最常用、也最簡單的辦法就是把答案藏在衛生間裏。作弊俱樂部鼓勵凱斯特考試時藉口去衛生間，趁機搞到藏在那裏的答案。但在關鍵時刻，他因擔心危及自己的學業而退縮了。
Kester admits in the book's Note From the Author that he wrote this book to impress a girl and to impress all of his classmates who went on to big business jobs after graduation—even though he just moved home to live with his parents.
凱斯特在該書的《編者按》中坦承，雖然他現在又搬回了父母的家跟他們住在一起，但他還是希望借這本書能給一個女孩和畢業後爲大企業工作的所有同學留下深刻印象。
He also hopes readers understand that there are good people at Harvard, many of whom made his tumultuouscollege career worth it. Kester, now 26, currently teaches at Middlesex School outside of Boston.
他同時希望讀者們明白，哈佛還是有優秀學生，他們中許多人沒有在喧囂的大學生活中虛度年華。現年26歲的凱斯特目前在波士頓城郊的米德爾塞克斯學校任教。
"I understand this isn't the Harvard everyone experienced," Kester said. "But I hope anyone reading the book, someone going into college, or an alumnus, can relate to the anxieties we all have about college."
“我知道，這不是大家眼中的哈佛，” 凱斯特說，“但我希望，讀這本書的每個人、即將踏入大學校門的學子或畢業生，都能夠認同我們大家都有所體會的大學焦慮。”
