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外國最新幽默笑話

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笑話是一種增強快樂的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情節簡單,文筆巧妙的形式出現,給人以出乎意料,並且取得笑意的藝術效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我們也需要偶爾的放鬆一下自己。下面本站小編爲大家帶來外國最新幽默笑話四則,希望大家喜歡!

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外國最新幽默笑話:電話錄音

KQED radio announced a few days ago that due to lack of funding, it was canceling its Perspectives commentaries. Next morning, Doug Edwards was checking the call in tape for listener reaction and came across this from a woman on her car phone: "MY name is Julia. Longtime listener. I’m very upset that you're canceling Perspectives and I' m considering canceling my support. Please reinstate…” followed by the sound of squealing brakes, a crash, shattering glass, and Julia yelling "Oh s…,you've made me so mad I just rear一ended the car in front of me. Have to go now.” Click. Poor Julia. Funds were restored,and Perspectives is back on the air.

KQED電臺在幾天前宣佈,由於資金緊張,他們將刷掉一個叫做《觀察評論》的節目。第二天一大早,唐·愛得華茲從專門記錄聽衆反饋意見的電話錄音中聽到了一位婦女的留言:“我叫朱莉婭,一個老聽衆了,聽說你們要取消《觀察評論》這個欄目,我感到非常氣憤!我要考慮收回我的資助,除非你們能恢復……”緊接着是一聲急促的剎車聲,然後是撞擊聲和玻璃粉碎的聲音,並且伴隨着朱莉婭的尖叫聲:“天那,你們簡直快讓我發瘋了,剛纔我和前面的一輛車追尾了,我掛電話了。”接着便是掛上電話後的滴答聲。可憐的朱莉婭,其實資金已經重新運轉了,《觀察評論》這檔節目也重新開播了。

外國最新幽默笑話:初出茅廬的州警

  Yesterday, in a county in south Georgia, a young state trooper went to the local magistrate and requested a warrant to arrest someone. The magistrate, doing his job, determined there was insufficient evidence and refused to issue the warrant. The trooper arrested the magistrate for" obstruction of justice.” Upon arrival at the county jail, the sheriff quickly determined what had happened,and refused to lock up the magistrate. The best part was the state patrol post’s leader's response, in a radio interview. "We believe this was just a minor misunderstanding. We have spoken with the trooper, and it won’t happen again.”

昨天,在喬治亞州南部的一個縣,一位年輕的州警到當地的法院,他想要逮一個人,希望法官給他開一個逮捕令。那個法官認爲沒有足夠的證據可以證明那個人有罪,所以拒絕簽發逮捕令。於是,這名警察便以“妨礙公務”的罪名逮捕了那位法官。可是當治安長官瞭解了情況以後,便拒絕監禁名法官。然而最精彩的部分還要說是巡警長官的態度了,他在電話採訪中說到:“我們相信這完全是個小小誤會,我們已經批評了那個巡警,並且保證今後再不會發生類似的事情了!”

 外國最新幽默笑話:沉默誓言

A middle-class man decides to go off and join a monastery, which requires an oath of silence. No speech is allowed except for two words every 5 years, to sum up one’s experiences to the head monk.

一箇中產階級男子決心遠離紅塵,去當修道士。每個出家的人都必須要立個沉默誓言,那就是每五年只允許說兩個字,作爲對這一段時間所經歷事情的總結。

After the first 5 years,the monk asked him what two words described his experiences and all he said was "HARD BEDS.”

第一個五年過去了,當修道士讓他用兩個字總結這五年的經歷時,那人說道“破牀”。

When the next 5-year period came the monk asked how things were and he replied: "BAD FOOD.”

又過了五年,當修道士再次問道他的時候,他回答“豬食”。

After 5 more years,he walked up to the monk and said,"I QUIT!”

第三個五年過後他對修道士說“放棄”。

The monk nodded and muttered,“Yes , this doesn't surprise me. You've been doing nothing but complaining for the past 15 years!”

道十點了點頭喃喃地說道:“果不出我所料,這十五年來除了抱怨以外你什麼也沒有做。”

 外國最新幽默笑話:場景

Did you hear the one about the ethnic who came home and found his wife between the sheets with another man? Well,he pulls out a gun, saying,“ That’s enough! I’m going to put an end to this once and for all!” Then he puts the gun up to his head.

你有沒有聽說過有一個人,當他回到家後發現自己的妻子正和另一個男人在鬼混,他立刻拔出手槍喊到:“我受夠了!看來今天是要做一個了結了!”說完他將槍口對準自己的頭。

The unfaithful wife shouts, "Don’t do it! Don’t do it! Don’t kill yourself !” The enraged ethnic replies, "Shut up, bitch,because you're next!”

這時那個蕩婦喊到:“不,不要這樣,你可不能自殺呀!”那人聽了憤怒地吼道:“閉嘴,潑婦,下一個死的就是你!”

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