生活幽默英語笑話三則
在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面本站小編爲大家帶來生活幽默英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!
生活幽默英語笑話：生日派對
On a special Teacher's Day,a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. First, the florist's son handed her a gift.
在教師節裏，一位幼兒園教師正在接受孩子們送給她的禮物，首先花匠的兒子遞上他的禮物。
A:I bet I know what it flowers.
我敢打賭我知道里面是什麼……是一些花。
B:That is right, but how did you know?
是的，可是你是怎麼知道的呢?
A:Just a wild guess.
瞎猜的。
(The second pupil is the candy store owner's teacher hands her gift over head.
第二個學生是糖果店老闆的女兒。老師把她送的禮物舉起來。)
A:I bet I can guess what it is...a box of candy.
我敢打賭我知道里面是什麼，是一盒糖果。
C:That's right. But how did you know?
對了，但你怎麼知道的?
A:Just a lucky guess.
碰巧猜出來的。
(The third gift is from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher holds it over head but it is leaking. She touches a drop of the leakage with her finger and tastes it.
第三份禮物來自於酒店老闆的兒子，老師把它舉起來，但有液體漏了出來，她用手蘸了一滴漏出來的液體，嚐了一下味道。)
A:Is it wine?
是果酒嗎?
D:No.
不是。
(The teacher repeated the process touching another drop of leakage to her tongue.
老師又用舌頭嚐了一滴漏出來的東西。)
A:Is it champagne?
是香檳嗎?
D:No.
不是。
A:Now, I give up. What is it?
好吧，我猜不着了，裏面到底是什麼呢?
D:A puppy.
是一隻小狗。
生活幽默英語笑話：狂歡聖誕
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
小鎮的一個警官讓一個在主大道上超速駕駛的摩托車手停下來。
A:But officer, I can explain.
長官，請聽我解釋。
B:Just be quiet, I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.
閉嘴，我要讓你在監獄裏冷靜冷靜，直到警長回來爲止。
A:But，officer, I just wanted to say. . .
但是，長官，我只是想說……。
B:I said to keep quiet!You're going to jail!
我說過閉嘴，你要進監獄了!
(A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner.
兒個小時後警官去看囚犯。)
B:Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.
幸虧警長今天參加他女兒的婚禮去了，回來後他心情肯定比較好。
A:Don't count on it，I'm the groom.
別指望啦。我就是新郎。
生活幽默英語笑話：新潮電玩誕
Professor is handing out the examination papers to a roomful of students.
教授正在給全班學生髮考卷。
A:You will have exactly two hours. Under no circumstances will accept a paper given to me after the deadline has passed. Do you under-stand ?
你們有整整兩個小時的時間，超過規定時間交上來的考卷，不管什麼原因，我絕對不收，明白嗎?
B:Yes.
是。
( After two hours.兩小時以後。)
A:Time is up.
時間到。
B:Wait.
等一下。
(About 15 minutes later. A students come to the platform and give his paper to the professor.
大約巧分鐘以後，一個學生走向講臺，並把卷子給了教授。)
A:Didn't you hear what I said?
你難道沒聽到我說的話嗎?
R:Yes，I did. But do you know who I am!professor?
不，我聽到了，但你知道我是誰嗎，教授?
A:No.
不知道。
B:Terrific.
太好了。
Then he stuffed his paper into the middle of the pile.
然後他把他的考卷塞進整堆考卷中。
