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關於2分鐘初中英語笑話

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冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,伴隨着網絡的普及它已經滲透到了青年羣體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕鬆愉悅,也能展示交談者的幽默和智慧。本站小編分享關於2分鐘初中英語笑話,希望可以幫助大家!

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  關於2分鐘初中英語笑話:Dumas(仲馬)

One day a man was taunting Alexandre Dumas,the greatFrench novelist,with hisancestry.

“Why,” snarled the fellow,“you.are a quadroon;yourfather was a mulatto,and your grandfather was a negro.”

“Yes,” roared Dumas,“and,if you wish to know'mygreatgrandfather was a monkey. In fact, my pedigree beganwhere yours terminates.”

56.仲馬

有一天,一個人在嘲弄法國大小說家亞歷山大·仲馬,譏笑他的祖先。

那傢伙厲聲說:“唔,你是四分之一黑白混血兒,你父親是黑白混血兒,而你的祖父是個黑人。”

“是的,”仲馬大聲回敬:“還有呢,如果你想知道的話, 我的曾祖父是一隻猴子。其實我的血統起始於你的血統終止的地方。”

  關於2分鐘初中英語笑話:A Life for a Life(以“命”抵命)

The English author,Richard Savage,was once living inLondon in great order to earn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life,but not many copies of the bookhad been sold in the shops,and Savage was living from hand a result of his lack of food he became very ill,butafter a time,owing to the skill of the doctor who had lookedafter him,he got well r a week or two the doctorsent a bill to Savage for his visits, but poor Savage hadn't anymoney and couldn't pay doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again. But still no money came. Afterseveral weeks he sent it to him again asking for his e end he came to Savage's house and asked him for payment,saying to Savage,“You know you owe your life to me and Iexpected some gratitude from you.”

“I agree,” said Savage,“that I owe my life to you, and toprove to you that I am not ungrateful for your work I will givemy life to you.”With these words he handed to him two volumes entitled,The life of Richard Savage.

英國作家理查德·薩維奇一度在倫敦過着貧困潦倒的生活,爲了賺幾個錢,他曾寫了有關他自己生平的故事。但是這部書在書店裏並沒有賣出幾本,薩維奇過着朝不保夕的日子。由於缺乏食物,他病得很厲害。後來,由於給他治療的那個醫生的高明醫術,他才又恢復了健康。過了一兩個星期之後,醫生給薩維奇送來了一張討要診費的帳單,但是貧窮的薩維奇沒有錢來償付。醫生等了一個月後又送來了帳單,但仍然未索回分文。幾個星期之後,他又送來帳單要錢。最後,醫生本人來到了薩維奇的家中,對他說:“你明白,你是欠我一條命的,我希望你有所報答。”

“是的,”薩維奇說,“我是欠你一條命,爲了向你證明我對你的診治不是不報答,我將把我的命給你。”

說着這番話,薩維奇遞給醫生兩卷書,名叫《理查德·薩維奇的一生》。

  關於2分鐘初中英語笑話:Horne Tooke(霍恩·圖克)

George Ⅲ asked the once wellknown wit, Horne Tooke,whether he could play cards.

“Your Majesty,” replied Tooke,“ I am a mere childwhere cards are concerned. I cannot even tell a King from aKnave.”

喬治三世問一度大名鼎鼎的才子霍恩·圖克,會不會玩紙牌。

“陛下,”圖克回答說:“在玩紙牌方面,我只不過是幼兒園的水平。我甚至分不清國王和無賴。”

  關於2分鐘初中英語笑話:Bishop Creighton(克萊頓主教)

Creighton was going along a West End square when hesaw a little fellow trying to reach the knocker of a large house.

“Can't you reach up so high?”queried the Bishop kindly.

“No, sir,” said the small youngster.

“Well, then, let me help you,” and the Bishop mountedthe three steps and gave a splendid rattat.

The little boy glanced hastily at the gentleman of the cloth.“Come on,” he yelled,“we must boaf run nar.”

當克萊頓主教沿着倫敦西區的一個廣場走着的時候,他 看見一個小傢伙正試圖抓住一所大房子的門環。

“你是不是夠不到這麼高的地方呢?”主教好意地問。

“是的,先生。”那小孩說。

“那好,讓我來幫你。”主教登上那三級臺階,在門上重重扣了幾下。

那個小男孩急忙給教士遞上一個眼色。“快跑,”他喊着:“我們倆都得跑。”


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