天下之大無奇不有：盤點各種奇怪的工作
在史前時代，人類過着悠閒的生活，每週只需工作15-20個小時，狩獵和採集食物，至少人類學家是這麼告訴我們的。現在情況早已大不相同。人們每週至少工作40個小時，有時甚至是80個小時。許多人的工作枯燥又有壓力，他們認真考慮着要不要跳槽。但是換成什麼工作纔好呢？下面是市場上最古怪的一些工作，可供你參考。
Armpit Sniffer 聞臭師
Only those with the most sensitive schnoz can perform this job. Armpit sniffers is just one category within this highly specialized field that includes professionals that can determine the effectiveness of paper towels, halitosis, feet (insoles), cat litter, and diapers. Armpit sniffers work for deodorant companies. They may spend their days in a hot room sniffing up to 60 armpits an hour to determine the effectiveness of deodorant in controlling sweaty smells and then write up reports on the effectiveness of the different deodorants involved. The work requires both a good sense of smell and a willingness to smell someone else's sweaty body. Salaries range from $19,000 to $52,000 a year, varying with experience and seniority.
這項工作只有那些嗅覺非常靈敏的人才能勝任。腋窩嗅探師只是這個高度專業化領域中的一部分，氣味鑑定員包括能夠鑑別紙巾、口臭、腳臭（或鞋墊）、貓砂以及尿布等的專業人員。腋窩嗅探師爲除臭劑公司工作。他們要在一個炎熱的房間裏呆上好幾天，每小時要聞最多60個腋窩，以確定除臭劑在控制汗味方面的有效性，此外還要爲不同的除臭劑撰寫報告。這份工作既要有良好的嗅覺，還需要甘願聞臭的精神。他們的年薪從1.9萬美元（約合人民幣13.5萬元）到5.2萬美元不等，視經驗和資歷而定。
halitosis['hælə'tosɪs]: n. 口臭
Golf Ball Diver 高爾夫球潛水員
Have you ever wondered what happens to all those golf balls that end up in the ponds, lakes and streams? They’re not left in the water to rot for all eternity. Instead, golf ball divers retrieve them and make a handsome profit from them. Before you sneer, read this: a typical golf ball diver can retrieve 800,000 balls a year, or 40 tons, and make up to $100,000. The downside is that there are many dangers involved, including drowning accidents and alligator attacks (no kidding!), and several deaths have been reported.
高爾夫球要是滾進了池塘、湖泊或小溪裏會怎麼樣？它們不會永遠留在水底，直至腐爛。相反，高爾夫球潛水員會把它們都找回來，並從中獲得可觀的收入。可別小看這個工作。一個專業的高爾夫球潛水員一年可以撿到80萬個球（約40噸），最多可以賺到10萬美元。不過這項工作也有危險，比如發生溺水事故或遭到鱷魚襲擊，這可不是開玩笑的！過去曾報道過數起這類死亡事件。
Chicken Sexer 小雞性別鑑定員
Tons of chickens are born on chicken farms every day and they need to be sorted according to their sex; as females are meant for egg-laying while males provide the meat. The chicken sexer determines the animals' sex using two techniques. The first one is known as feather sexing; this is when the chicks are specially bred to produce feathers that look different on males and females. Vent sexing, on the other hand, is more hands-on; in this method, you literally squeeze the poop out of the chicks in order to see inside their intestines, where you look for their sex organs; once you identify out the chicks’ sex, you separate them and move them on to their next destinations. The job requires two to three years of training, long hours standing and concentration, a gentle hand and a good eye. Salaries vary, but for US and European standards, the pay is not so hot, around $20,000 in the US and £15,000 in the UK, although in other countries like Brazil it is considered a great job with experienced sexers making $1,200 a month.
養雞場裏每天都有大量的雞仔出生，它們需要根據性別進行分類，因爲雌性是用來下蛋的，雄性是用來吃的。性別鑑定員通過兩種技術來確定雞的性別。一種是通過羽毛鑑定，雌性和雄性小雞生出來的時候，羽毛看起來是不同的。另一種更實際的方法是肛門鑑定法。將小雞的糞便擠出來之後，就能看到它們的性器官。一旦你確定了小雞的性別，就將它們分開運往不同的目的地。這項工作需要受兩到三年的訓練，要能長時間保持站立和集中注意力，此外還要有一雙溫柔的手和好眼力。儘管各地薪資不同，但從歐美標準來看，這項工作並不是很熱門。在美國年薪約爲2萬美元，英國則爲1.5萬英鎊。但在巴西等其他國家，人們認爲這是一份很棒的工作，有經驗的性別鑑定者每月能掙1200美元。
hands-on[,hændz'ɑn]: adj. 親身實踐的，親自動手的
Pet Food Taster 寵物食品品嚐師
Pet food tasters evaluate the nutritional value of pet food and, yes, taste-test it to ensure your canine’s meal is flavorful, immune boosting and chock-full-of vitamins and minerals. Smell is also important when choosing the best options. No homeowner wants a house that stinks of fish. They don’t spend every day sampling a cuisine fit for a pampered pooch, though like professional wine tasters, pet food testers spit it out instead of swallowing it. Most days, they’re writing reports and thinking up new ideas on how to put a nutritional spin on a new line of food. Salaries in the US range from $34,000 – $117,000, and, of course, you’re guaranteed strong teeth.
寵物食品品嚐師會評估寵物食品的營養價值，同時還會進行口味測試，以確保寵物食品味道鮮美、富含維生素和礦物質、能夠增強免疫力。寵物食品的氣味也很重要，沒有哪個主人會選擇散發着濃重魚腥味的食物。品嚐師並不是每天都在花時間品嚐適合寵物享用的美食。和專業的品酒師一樣，他們嚼一嚼之後就會吐出來，不會吞下去。多數時候，品嚐師們都在寫報告，絞盡腦汁地思考如何在新食品中增添營養成分。美國寵物食品品嚐師的年薪從3.4萬美元到11.7萬美元不等。當然，你必須要有一口堅硬的牙齒。
pampered: adj. 飲食過量的；飲食奢侈的
Turd Burner 糞便燃燒處理師
For those who spend long periods of time in the great outdoors or at sea, relieving yourself can be more problematic than you think as operating toilets are not always feasible or readily available. So what to do with all the human waste? Several companies have come up with special toilets that burn excrement for such occasions. But, of course, someone has to operate these ingenious contraptions, turd burners. Although the “flushing” is done by each visitor to the john, these workers maintain and operate special toilets that burn waste so it’s converted into harmless, germ-free, odorless ashes. But they’ve got to use their nose to tell if something’s wrong with the toilet. If there’s a bad smell, something’s wrong.
對於那些長時間待在戶外或在海上的人來說，上廁所麻煩得很，廁所不一定能用，有時還沒有廁所。那麼應該如何處理排泄物呢？有幾家公司發明了一種特殊的廁所，能夠燃燒糞便。雖然上完廁所的人都會沖水，但必須要有專業人士來操縱這一裝置，使糞便轉化爲無害、無味、無菌的灰燼。他們必須用鼻子來辨別裝置是否出了問題，如果有難聞的味道，那必定是出了故障。
turd[tɝd]: n. 糞，糞便
Gum Buster 口香糖剋星
We all did it willfully when we were kids, and still do it unwittingly as adults: Stick your used, chewed-up, salivated gum onto a surface, any surface. But sooner or later, someone’s going to have to clean that up. That’s when a Gum Buster goes to work. They clean gum off of city sidewalks, stadium seats, school hallways, and the underside of school desks. The name “Gum Buster” comes from the machine you use, invented by a Dutch chemist in 1998. The machine dry steams the gum in just 5 seconds, making removal easier. Gum Busters can expect to earn between $18,000 – $40,000.
從小到大，我們都會故意或不經意地把吃過的、嚼過的、沾滿唾液的口香糖黏在各種表面。總有一天會有人來收拾殘局。這就是口香糖剋星的職責所在，他們會清理掉城市人行道、體育場座位、學校走廊和課桌底部的口香糖。1998年，一位荷蘭的化學家發明了一臺專治口香糖的機器，只需要5秒就能蒸乾口香糖，這樣就方便清理了。口香糖剋星的名字就源於這臺機器。口香糖剋星的年薪預計在1.8萬至4萬美元之間。
Whale-Feces Researcher 鯨魚糞便研究員
When whales poo, they poo bigtime, almost as large as the whale itself. Researchers comb through giant logs of whale dung looking for clues about the endangered North Atlantic right whales, including pregnancy detection, genetics, hormone and biotoxin levels. Whale poo chasers first have to find a pod, and wait for them to relieve themselves. They have about an hour before the turds sink to the bottom of the ocean.
鯨魚的糞便幾乎和它們的個頭一般大。爲了研究瀕臨滅絕的北大西洋露脊鯨，研究人員需要梳理大量的鯨魚糞便，探尋懷孕指徵、遺傳、激素和生物毒素水平等線索。研究員們首先要找到一個鯨羣，然後等着他們排便。他們大約只有一個小時的時間，否則糞便很快就會沉入海底。
