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拯救低分段 6分段雅思作文範文詳細點評

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總有些學生雅思寫作一直無法突破6分,這到底是爲什麼呢?本文爲大家帶來一篇6分作文,詳細分析一下得6分的原因,希望大家都能吸取經驗,總結教訓,最後都能突破6分。

ing-bottom: 23.91%;">拯救低分段--6分段雅思作文範文詳細點評

拯救低分段--6分段雅思作文範文詳細點評

題目:

Some people say job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that having a permanent job is better than enjoying the job. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You should write at least 250 words.

解析:

本題問到底該選擇什麼工作,到底是自己感興趣的工作重要,還是穩定的工作重要?與其他很多話題一樣,這裏的討論可以複雜,也可以簡單;可以深刻化,也可以生活化。比如,有人認爲,應該選擇自己感興趣的工作,因爲這樣才能實現人生的價值,從工作中尋找到成就感和滿足感;而選擇穩定的工作則可以有助於社會的穩定,有助於家庭的和睦。老雅本次想爲低分段同學提供一個範文,看6分段作文究竟可以把一個話題簡單化到什麼程度。

老雅一貫的觀點是:對於6分段作文,思想是其次的,清晰是最重要的。如何做到清晰表達?最關鍵的是要想得簡單,想得直接,想得具體;杜絕深刻,杜絕兜圈,杜絕抽象。對於低分段同學來說,這種寫作策略明顯更容易實現自己的6分夢想。

唐老雅6分範文(低分段同學必須模仿!)

Everybody has to work. The question is: which is more important in work, the job security or the job satisfaction? Some people think the job security is more important than job satisfaction, but others believe the opposite. In my view, both job security and satisfaction are important.

老雅點評:本段爲開頭段,首先提出話題,其次重述話題,再次提出自己觀點。

We all need a secure job. If we have a stable job, we can make a lot of money. Then we can buy big houses and expensive cars, and can travel all around the world. This will make our life more wonderful. If we have a stable job, we will not have to worry about losing our job. So we do not have to spend time looking for jobs. This means we can have more time to stay together with our family.

老雅點評:本段論述“job security"的重要性。提出兩個理由:1)如果有穩定工作,我們可以掙到很多錢。如何論述這個分論點呢?老雅提出的”自然接續法“可以發揮作用。掙到錢後我們可以買房子和車,可以到世界旅遊,這樣我們的生活就豐富多彩了。2) 如果有穩定工作,我們就不必擔心失去工作。自然接續下去,不擔心失去工作,就不必要花時間去找工作,結果呢,我們就有時間陪伴家人了。這樣,用”自然接續法“,兩個理由都得到了一定的論述,層次非常清楚,一句句寫來,明白無誤。

However, it is also important to have an interesting job. If we have an interesting job, we can do our job well. Then we can get happiness from our job. If we are not interested in what we do, we can never succeed no matter how stable our job is. My uncle James is a good example. He is a middle school teacher, which is a very stable job. However, he is not really interested in teaching. As a result, he is not very successful even at his fifties.

老雅點評:本段論述 "job satisfaction"的重要性。提出一點理由:如果有自己感興趣的工作,我們就能做好工作。自然接續下去,做好工作,我們就能從工作中得到幸福。反過來,如果對自己從事的工作不感興趣,我們就不能成功。接下來,舉例論證。我有一位叔叔在中學當老師,工作是穩定了,但他對教學不感興趣,結果到50多歲還是不成功。這裏使用的還是非常簡單直接的論述方法。

In conclusion, I think it is the best that we have a secure and satisfying job, because this kind of job helps us to make our living and have time to stay together with our family, and at the same time succeed in our career. I wish everybody could get such a job. (271 words)

老雅點評:結論段,首先重申自己的觀點,並將前文的觀點重新表述一下,最後提出自己的期待,結束全文。

總體評價:本文避免了講大道理,避免了抽象,做到了簡單而清晰,直接而曉暢。雖然思維稍顯幼稚,語言也有不少重複生硬的地方,但把自己的思想說清楚了,因此很容易得到6分。如果英文水平不高的學生,試圖很深刻地去寫這個題目,語言千瘡百孔,邏輯混亂不堪,即使用出了幾個大詞,其結果仍然是4分。低分段學生,一定要掌握正確的思維方法和寫作方法,不要誤信外面所謂寫作名師的機經,什麼用大詞,用複雜句,寫深刻一些,這些雖然不錯,但真的不適合你。低分段同學不可不慎!

請自行比較學生的一篇習作,它看起來詞彙用得大,思想好像也深刻一些,但它的得分只有3.5。

Most of the young people on job satisfaction have become an integral part of looking for a job. Their main argument is based on this idea; the work is the ultimate goal is to help achieve a better life. But recent research shows, the boredom in the workplace, hostility, pressure and depression can be lead to physical and mental illness, destroy our happy life.

This attitude is another group of older people’s criticism; they think must attach great importance to the safety of work. First of all, they point out that this work is only a part of life, so disappointment will not stand in the way of life. In addition, a good life is depends on the table of food and pocket the cash. In this sense, work safety means to get rid of the concerns to the basic needs to really enjoy life.

Therefore, I think whether it is good or bad, it will adhere to a lifetime of work, if they are able to adjust their career path according to the social and economic conditions, it will be better, because it will make them easier to adapt to change. It is inevitable.

雅思寫作範文:廢物循環

Task:In some countries there is not enough recycling of waste materials (eg. Paper, glass and cans.) What are the reasons and solutions?

Sample answer:

The last years has witnessed the increase in the awareness of environmental protection. However, there are still a lot of waste materials that have not been recycled. This essay will mainly discuss the reasons of this problem and suggest some solutions.

One main reason of this problem may be that the public haven’t realized the importance of recycling wastes. As economy develops, people have high incomes and can afford a large number of items. At the same time, they don’t know how to deal with what they have used and haven’t realized that their buying habits will cause the consumption of energy, crease waste and increase pollution.

This problem can also be attributed to the lack of recycling sites in the public places. In some countries, the government is not be able to purchase enough recycling sites due to poor financial conditions. As a result, people are likely to find it difficult to place their rubbish into the dustbins.

In order to address this problem, the government and citizens should make joint efforts. First of all, the government ought to provide free education of recycling lectures for the public. This is because many citizens haven’t received decent education and are not well informed of how to recycle and reuse waste items. What’s more, the recycling industry needs to be financially supported. If the government does not pay attention to the establishment and development of this industry, the problem will continue to exist in our society.

As mentioned above, the neglect of recycling and the shortage of recycling sites are the main factors leading to the increase of waste materials. To solve this problem, both the government and the public should collaborate.

(287 words)

雅思寫作範文:氣候變化,要努力避免還是適應?

Task:Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. Do you agree or disagree?

有人認爲我們應該學會適應氣候而不是防止氣候變化。你在多大程度上同意或者不同意?

解析:

氣候變化是一個全球性的問題。前幾年大家談及最多的就是氣候變暖(global warming, greenhouse effect)問題,好像地球大難臨頭的樣子。近些年科學界對這個問題又有了重新認識,全球變暖的問題好像並不那麼迫切了。因此,7月16日這個雅思作文題目才得以出臺。要在15年前出這個題目,估計雅思考試本身都會被人噴死!那麼,現在,這個問題提出就沒有風險了。面對氣候變化,我們應該努力去避免它,還是努力去適應它?

看起來耳熟能詳的問題,論證起來卻不那麼容易。如果你寫難了,你的英語表達一定很有問題。那麼,如何比較簡單入手來論述呢?首先,描寫一下近年來的氣候變化情況,然後講避免氣候變化成本很高,還不如去適應它。那麼,如何講避免氣候變化成本高呢?從技術層面上去講的話,累死你,效果還絕對差,所以還不如舉例。然後,論證如何適應氣候變化,就很容易了。

參考範文:

Climate change has become a worldwide issue in recent decades. The Earth, according to some scientists, is becoming warmer and warmer and this is an alert signal for the future safety of the Earth. For these scientists, we must do something to prevent the climate from becoming worse. Meanwhile, there are also scientists who do not think much of the climate change and therefore suggest that we do nothing but find a way to live with it. For my part, I agree with the second group of scientists.

To reverse the climate change is never an easy undertaking. The widely acknowledged causes of climate change include the automobile gas emissions, factory pollution, deforestation, among others. If we wish to prevent the climate change, we will have to significantly reduce the use of cars and airplanes, close most of the factories and stop people from cutting trees. This means that, in order to make the Earth become cooler by one or two centigrade degree, our normal life will have to sacrifice. This is a cost most of us would never want to pay, although we have been repeatedly told of the benefits of doing so to the future generation.

Then, in face of climate change, rather than trying to prevent it, we'd better try to find a way to live with it. For instance, when the hotter climate makes it impossible to grow a certain vegetable in summer, we can grow it earlier than now, store it and then eat it when the weather becomes too hot. Also, we can develop new technologies to grow the vegetable we need even when the climate has changed. Furthermore, when it is necessary, we can make adjustments about our work hours. If the weather has become intolerably hot, we can have a few days off and make up when it gets back to normal. Such flexibilities will help us solve the climate change problem and at the same time will not bring down our productivity.

Climate change is not a good thing, but for the time being, I do not think we should take expensive and costly measures to prevent it. Rather, I believe we should find a way to live with it.

(369 words)

雅思寫作範文:植樹vs建樓

Task:Some people think that it is more important to plant more trees in open area which in towns and cities than build more housing. To what extend do agree or disagree?

Sample answer:

With the rapid urbanization of our society, tree seems more valuable than ever before. At the same time, a great number of people support more greenery in open areas in towns and cities rather than more housing buildings. I am of the opinion that this action has more benefits than drawbacks.

Trees are more important part of the urban environment and a city with easy access to green spaces is more livable and attractive for most people. First of all, as we all know, green plants can carry out photosynthesis, which not only absorb carbon dioxide, but also release oxygen. Therefore, the air quality in cities will be improved greatly. Secondly, people living in cities with plenty of trees are less likely to suffer from health problems caused by smog and fumes. This is extremely important because today travelling by car has become a major means of travel in most cities.

Housing guarantees people’s basic need of accommodation. Today, many real estate developers overdevelop the open areas with the purpose of gaining huge profit. This will occupy the valuable and limited land resources. In addition, considering our almost saturated real estate industry and market, there is no more need to build more housing. In fact, many employers cannot afford to purchase a flat because of the high housing price. Therefore, compared to housing building, trees seems more significant to our environment.

To sum up, I believe that planting more trees in open areas will bring far more gains than losses.

(252 words)

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