不論男女,辦公室該不該聊其年齡大綱
Last week I was talking to a group of twenty-something women lawyers who had just started work in the City of London. One told me she was fed up with being asked how old she was by middle-aged colleagues and clients. The others agreed: they got asked their age all the time and they hated it. They saw it as a way of undermining their authority and putting them in their place.
不久前，我和一羣剛剛開始倫敦金融城從業生涯的20多歲的女律師聊過天。其中一人告訴我，她對年屆中年的同事和客戶問她年齡感到不勝其煩。其他人也表示贊同：老是有人問到她們的年齡，她們覺得煩透了。在她們看來，問這種問題不過是爲了削弱她們的威信，把她們“打回原形”。When I got into the office the next day I did a survey of the youngest people I could find and asked if the same thing happened to them. Almost all said yes – not just the women, but the men, too.
第二天，到辦公室後，我對我能找到的辦公室裏最年輕的人士做了一項調查，問他們是否也有同樣的遭遇。幾乎所有人都做出了肯定答覆——不僅是女士，男士亦然。How grim, I thought. Here is another indignity borne by the crunch generation – they are locked out of the housing market, saddled with student debt, struggling to find a decent job, and when they finally land one, they get punished for being young.
我心想，真慘啊。對於“緊縮世代”（crunch generation，指一畢業就趕上經濟緊縮的一代——譯者注）而言，這是另一項恥辱——他們買不起房，揹負着學生貸款，千辛萬苦也難以找到一份體面的工作，而當他們終於找到了一份不錯的工作，又因爲年紀較輕而受到“敲打”。
Yet on closer inspection it is more complicated than that. My sample suggests there is a difference between how the sexes take the question.
然而，經過更仔細的審視會發現，情況比上面所說的更復雜。從我選取的樣本中可以看出，男女對這個問題的感受不一樣。To the women, it feels like sexism and ageism in a single shot. But to some of the pushier young men, the question is an opportunity to show off. To be able to say: I’m 23 – and look how much I’ve achieved already – is deeply gratifying.
在女士們看來，這個問題同時具有性別歧視和年齡歧視的意味。而對於一些進取心較強的年輕男士而言，這個問題則提供了一次炫耀的機會。能夠回答“我23歲”（潛臺詞：看看我已經取得了多麼了不起的成就），是一件很能帶來滿足感的事。Yet for both men and women, at some point in their late twenties and just before the appearance of the first wrinkle, the questions cease. By some unspoken agreement, everyone stops asking.
然而不論男士還是女士，從奔三的某個時候開始、在第一條皺紋出現前不久，這樣的問題就消失了。大家似乎達成了某種默契，所有人都不再問這個問題了。The only people in their thirties who still get asked have either been wildly successful (I know someone of 32 with a board position who gets asked her age a lot) or pregnant women, who are asked by other women anxious about their own dwindling fertility.
年過三十而依然會被問到年齡問題的只有兩種人：一種是極爲成功的人士（我認識一位剛剛32歲、已成爲董事的女士，就經常會被問到年齡），另一種是孕婦——問她年齡的往往是其他對自己生育能力日漸衰減感到焦慮的女士。What is wrong – and most peculiar – about all this is not that we ask the youngest workers how old they are. It is that we don’t ask anyone else.
所有這一切的問題（同時也是最蹊蹺之處），不在於我們問年輕人的年齡，而在於我們從不向任何其他人問這個問題。With children, age is the first thing we want to know. Even the shyest child will always be ready to lisp out “I’m three-and-a-half”. Colleagues routinely ask the ages of my children – as well as the age of my elderly father. But they never ask how old I am.
對於孩子，我們首先想知道的就是年齡。即便最害羞的孩子也始終有這樣的準備，一旦有人問“你幾歲了？”，就會咬着舌頭說一句“我三歲半了”。同事們時不時問我孩子的年齡，以及我老父親的年齡，但他們從來不會問我的年齡。In the years between about 28 and 65 – for the bulk of our life that we dedicate to work – it is considered too rude to ask. On LinkedIn people post all sorts of irrelevant information about themselves – including whether they possesses a “skill” called “cross-functional team leadership” – but they never state their age. Anyone wanting to know (and surely everyone does) has to work backwards from the date they left school or university.
從28歲到65歲這段時間占人生的很大一部分，也是人生中用於努力工作的時間，但對大約處於這個年齡段的人，詢問年齡被認爲是不禮貌的。在LinkedIn網站上，人們會貼出各種關於自己的無關緊要的信息（包括他們是否擁有所謂的“跨部門團隊領導能力”這種“技能”），但他們從來不會提及自己的年齡。任何想知道他們年齡的人（當然嘍，每個人都想知道），都得從他們離開中學或大學的年份反推這個問題的答案。Our coyness about age at work isn’t because we don’t think age is important. On the contrary: age continues to fascinate us. Whenever I interview anyone, I do not consider I’ve done the job properly unless I slip in how old they are. Someone’s age tells you something about their experience. It is a measuring stick to how well they are doing. There may be other, better, measuring sticks but the beauty of this one is that it is simple and can be applied to everyone. If nothing else, their age gives you a clue about their taste in pop music.
我們之所以在職場中對年齡問題扭扭捏捏，並不是因爲我們認爲年齡不重要。相反，年齡是我們始終感興趣的問題。我每次面試（或採訪）別人的時候，如果我沒有假裝不小心地問一下他們的年齡，我就會覺得我的工作沒有圓滿完成。一個人的年齡會透露他們的經驗。年齡是衡量他們成就的一個標尺。儘管可能存在其他更好的標尺，但年齡這個標尺勝在簡單，並且適用於每個人。就算不能提供其他信息，年齡也會爲你猜測他們的流行音樂品味提供一條線索。You could say that to be open about age would lead to more discrimination, though I can’t see how. As it is, it is not as if we are blind to age or treat older and younger workers the same. They look different; they are different. Refusing to reveal how old someone is makes discrimination worse as it means those who have invested in Botox or who have won the genetic lottery and are still trim and dark-haired do better than those who are grey and wrinkly.
你可能會說，在年齡問題上太過坦率可能會導致更多歧視現象，不過在我看來未必如此。事實上，年齡是可以看出來的，年長員工和年輕員工受到的待遇也是不一樣的。年長員工跟年輕員工的相貌不同，事實上也不同。拒絕透露年齡會造成更嚴重的歧視，因爲這意味着，比起頭髮灰白、臉上有皺紋的年長者，那些皮膚仍然光潔、頭髮沒有變白的年長者更有優勢，無論後者是因爲花錢打了肉毒桿菌(Botox)除皺、還是幸運地擁有抗衰老的基因。Last week I told the young lawyers that in future when some older colleague asks them their age, they should smile and reply: “I’m 27. How old are you?”
當時，我告訴那些年輕的女律師，以後有年紀較長的同事問到她們的年齡，她們應該微笑着回答：“我27歲，您多大年紀？”The last time I was asked such a direct question was nearly a decade ago. I was lying in an ambulance and a strange man was bending over me, telling me that I had had an accident on my bike.
我最後一次被直接問到這個問題是在將近10年前。當時我躺在救護車裏，一名陌生男子附身衝着我，對我說，我在騎自行車時出了事故。What’s your name, he asked. Who is the prime minister?
當時他問我，你叫什麼名字？英國首相是誰？I answered these without difficulty. But then he said: how old are you? I didn’t have the first idea. After a lot of racking my brains, I said as if unearthing a fact of considerable yet obscure interest: I think I’m in my forties.
我毫不費勁地回答了這兩個問題。但他接着問道：你今年多少歲？我一時沒想起來。想了半天，我才答道：我應該有40多歲了——這話說得，彷彿在披露一件人們有極大興趣（但原因令人費解）的事實。Now, bump on head long gone, I can say with confidence I am 54 and a half. It’s a perfectly good age to be. It isn’t how I feel inside (but that’s because age always feels contingent from within), but it does tell you something. At the very least, that I joined the workforce in easier times and I’m still here..
如今，我頭上碰出的包早已消失，我可以自信地說我今年54歲半。這是個十分完美的年齡。我內心並不覺得自己已經有這麼大年紀了（但那是因爲人們內心對自己的年齡永遠感到意外），不過年齡確實能透露一些信息。至少，我的年齡透露出，我是在容易就業的年代參加工作的，並且我現在仍在工作。
