語言有魔力:改掉十個單詞 提高幸福指數
you.#39;ve heard about the power of positive thinking, right? Everyone's raving about it. If you simply think positively, rainstorms will turn into rainbows, red lights will turn green, and your in-laws will suddenly turn into human beings. Right? Right?!
你應該聽過積極思考的魔力吧？每個人都對它讚不絕口。若你凡事就只用積極方式思考，暴風雨能變成彩虹，紅燈能變成綠燈，對吧？真的是這樣嗎？I'll tell you what you can control, though: your words. By making a few changes in your vocabulary, you can turn steaming piles of crap into 100% organic fertilizer. You can turn an inconvenient power outage into cuddle time with your sweetie. And you can turn obligations into opportunities. Words shape thoughts, and you'll find that if you change your words for the better, your thoughts will change for the better too, and so will your life.
我來告訴你需要控制的東西：你的語言。只要對你的遣詞做點小小改變，你會將一連串的廢話變成100%的有機肥料。你可以將令人尷尬的冷場變成甜言蜜語。你也可以將那些不得不說的時刻變成你的機遇。語言造就思維，你會發現若你改善自己的遣詞，你的思維會變得更出色，隨之而來的就是你越來越美妙的生活。ld
1.應該
Have you heard the expression "Stop shoulding all over yourself"? Well, let's clean that "should" off your pants and replace it with some organic fertilizer, because every obligation can be rephrased as a desire. Instead of "I should go to the store," how about "I want to go to the store because I'm hungry and I want to buy some food"?
你有聽過這句話："不要給自己太多的束縛"。讓我們將所有"應該"改成一些有營養的話語吧，每個義務都可以被願望所替代。當你說"我應該去商店"時，改成"我想去商店，因爲我餓了"怎麼樣？t
2.應當"I ought to get this work done before I go to the party." What do you want to do? Weigh your preferences. How good or bad would you feel about getting the work done first? How good or bad would you feel about leaving it undone? Figure out what you most want, and then do it. In any case, let go of the obligation. "I want to get this work done before I go to the party, because I'll feel a lot better once it's finished."
"我應當把工作做完後再去聚會"。其實你到底想做什麼？權衡下你的喜好。選擇先完成工作的你，是什麼感覺？選擇把它扔一邊參加聚會又是什麼感覺？想想你最想做什麼，接着馬上執行。無論如何，別管所謂的義務。你可以說"我想把工作做完後再去聚會，因爲一旦工作完成我會感覺更加安穩"。to
3.需要"I need to walk the dog." How about instead, "I want our dog to be happy and healthy, and I want to have a nice, clean, poop-free house, so I'm going to walk the dog."
"我得去遛狗"，還是"我想讓狗狗健康活潑，也想有個乾淨漂亮的家，所以我要去遛狗"？to
4.不得不"I have to go to work." Well, no. You don't have to. It's just that your actions have consequences. Even if you don't enjoy the process of getting there, you might really want the end result. So maybe a more positive way to phrase it would be, "I want to make money, so I'm going to go to work." Keeping your goal in mind can make the process of getting there better for you."
"我不得不工作"，不要這麼說。你沒有不得不做的事情。你的行爲決定結果。即使你不享受做事的過程，你也確實想得到結果。因此我們可以用更加積極的詞彙去表達，"我想賺錢，所以要去工作"。把自己的目標牢記在心，你就可以更加輕鬆地享受過程。5.必須"I must go to bed now or else I'll be tired and groggy all day tomorrow." Okay, you got me, nobody actually talks like this. But you get the idea, right? "Must", another obligation word, and again you can rephrase it positively as a desire. "I'll go to bed now because I want to feel alert and awake tomorrow." Doesn't that take a weight off your shoulders and make you feel better about it?
"我必須得上牀睡覺了，否則明天會困死的"。你真是耍我，沒人會這麼說話。但你聽懂了是不是？"必須"是表達義務的另一個詞彙，所以你同樣可以用願望來代替它。"明天我要讓自己保持清醒，現在就要上牀睡覺。"這句話能不能減輕你的壓力，讓你感覺好點呢？'t
6.不能Enough of obligation words, limiting words are even more dangerous. How many times do we say "I can't" when it's not really true? "I can't write well." Maybe you don't write well right now, but you can if you put your mind to it. If you wanted to, you could practice and learn and gain new skills. So how about "I'm not that great at writing yet?" "Can't" closes a door. You can stick your foot in that door and prop it open by choosing other words.
說了這麼多義務性的詞彙，其實限制性詞彙更恐怖。當事實根本不是那樣時，我們說了多少次"我不能"？"我寫不出漂亮的字跡"，或許你現在寫不出，之後你下定決心糾正就可以了呢？如果你想改善，你可以練習寫字，學習新技巧。"我不擅長寫字"這樣是不是好點呢？"不能"使你將機會拒之門外。其實你可以使用其他的詞彙，將那扇門打開。ssible
7.不可能
"It's impossible for me to be a professional athlete; I'm just naturally clumsy." You know what? I've seen a one-legged man compete in a Dance Dance tournament — and win. Nothing is impossible, it just takes time, practice, and dedication. Talent is completely irrelevant in the face of determination. How about "It's possible for me to be a professional athlete if I want to put in the time and effort."
"我天生就笨，不可能成爲職業運動員。" 你知道嗎？我看過只有一條腿的殘疾人在勁舞錦標賽中出色演出，而且獲勝了。所以一切皆有可能。需要的只是時間，練習和你的投入。在決心面前，天賦不堪一擊。這麼說好不好——"如果我花時間精力的話，成爲職業運動員是有可能的。"r
8.決不"I could never sing as well as her." Again, you probably could. Even if today, the sound of you singing in the shower sends birds spiraling disoriented into the ground, that's just today. You can improve, you can get better, and you can keep getting better for as long as you want to. She probably took hours and hours of voice lessons, so you're not being fair to yourself. "I could sing as well as her or better if I put my mind to it."
"我絕不可能唱得比她好。" 又來了，你爲什麼不可能？即使今天你在浴室唱歌的聲音把小鳥都嚇得沒頭亂飛，那也只是今天罷了。你可以進步，做得更好，你還可以繼續保持進步——只要你願意。她可能上了很久的聲樂課，你幹嘛要自暴自棄呢？所以要這麼說"只要有心，我也可以和她唱得一樣動聽，甚至更好。"k
9.抽你In addition to limiting words, violent words can bring unnecessary negativity into your life. "I'm gonna smack you if you don't shut up right now!" If that's really true, then that's cool, you're speaking authentically. But I found myself saying this when what I really meant was, "I'm feeling upset and frustrated because I can't concentrate with a lot of noise around. Could you please be quiet? I'd really appreciate it." When I rephrased my vocabulary this way, the people around me felt a lot more considered and respected.
另外，一些暴力詞彙也只能對你的生活產生消極影響。"你丫再不閉嘴我就抽你了！" 如果你真要那麼做，那倒挺不錯的，至少你在講真話。但我發現一般這樣說只是爲了表達"周圍太吵，我注意力集中不了，太讓人心煩了。你可以安靜點嗎？非常感激！" 當我用這種方式來表達時，周圍的人也會感覺到被尊重和照顧。10.把你殺了Now this one I hope you're not saying with authenticity. "I'm going to kill you if you leave the toilet seat up one more time!" That's one way to express anger and frustration, but how about expressing it directly instead? "I feel angry and hurt when you leave the toilet seat up, because it seems inconsiderate to me, like you don't care about my comfort or our shared space." The "kill" phrasing is likely to lead to an argument, but the "I feel" phrasing is likely to lead to a conversation that might make things better.
我希望你說這個詞時是在開玩笑。"如果你再將馬桶座立起來我就把你殺了！"這是一種表達說話人憤怒挫敗的詞彙，那你可以將自己的憤怒直接說出來呀！"你把馬桶座立起來時我很生氣，因爲我覺得你不顧我的感受，就如你不在乎我們共有的空間，不在乎我是否舒服。""殺"這個詞會引起爭論，但"我感到"就好多了，它帶來的更多是溝通和交談。These are just 10 of the many words you can rephrase to improve your life. It's even easier and more fun with a partner. Pick a word that you'd like to rephrase, and ask your partner to let you know whenever you use that word. It can be challenging, but it's also incredibly rewarding!
以上是10種改述方法會讓你的生活變得更加美好。如果和某個朋友一起進行會更加輕鬆有趣。選擇一個你要改變的詞，當你使用它的時候讓你的朋友提醒你。這種方法很有挑戰性，但也確實能獲得十足的回報哦！
