當你孤單時你可以做的9件安慰心靈之事
Even introverts know what loneliness feels like. There is a key difference between being alone and feeling lonely. “Alone” is a state of being by oneself without others around, and can actually be a healthy phenomenon. Everyone needs a little time away from others to plan, consider, and simply to rest. Loneliness is a different matter entirely.
就算是性格內向的人，也知道孤獨是什麼滋味。“獨自一人” 和“感到孤獨” 有着根本區別。“獨自一人”是指只有自己、身邊無人陪伴的狀態，實際上也可以是一種健康現象。每個人都需要一點獨處的時間，用於計劃、思考或純粹休息。孤獨卻完全是另外一碼事。
While it’s normal to feel lonely or isolated from time to time, too much loneliness can be unhealthy or even dangerous. Numerous studies have linked excessive, ongoing feelings of loneliness and isolation to depression, mental illness, and even physical problems such as insomnia, diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease.
雖然偶爾感到孤獨或孤立還算正常，但若經常如此，可能就不健康甚至危險了。無數研究均認爲持續的過度孤獨感會導致抑鬱症、心理疾病，以及像失眠、糖尿病、高血壓和心臟病等各種身體疾病。
The good news is, loneliness is a condition that can be fought against and overcome! Here are 9 things to do when you feel lonely that will make you feel healthier, more integrated, and less painfully alone.
好消息是，孤獨是一種能夠戰勝克服的狀態！當你感到孤獨時，可以嘗試下面9件事情，這樣你會感到更健康、更協調，也不再爲孤單而煩惱了。
1. Take a walk
散散步
This may seem disingenuous, but walking has been proven to offer many great health benefits both for the body and the mind. Any form of exercise would do as well, but walking is better because it allows one to explore their town or the area around them in a way a car simply does not allow.
這個建議聽上去好像不夠實誠，但事實證明散步確實對身心健康大有益處。其他鍛鍊方式也行，但散步更好，因爲散步讓人有機會探索自己的城市或附近街區，而這一點絕不是汽車能代勞的。
While walking, take a different route than you usually would to get to a usual goal point. Even better, simply pick a direction at random and start. Just the feeling of walking down the street, surrounded by traffic and other people, can make you feel more involved in the pulse of your city or town. Besides, you may discover something new you didn’t know your town had to offer!
散步時選一條不同於平常去往目的地的道路；最好是隨便選個方向走一走。走在大街上被人羣車輛包圍的感覺，能讓你覺得自己和這座城市更加密切相關。而且，你或許還能在自己的城市裏發現新奇的事物呢！
2. Join a club
加入俱樂部
Everyone has an interest or passion, and sometimes a fresh point of view can help you enhance your talents or interests in new and surprising ways. Even the smallest town usually has at least some clubs. Maybe you enjoy chess and would like to play with others to sharpen your skills. You could even consider something you’ve never tried before: pottery, writing, wine tasting, or even dancing are all good ways to interact with others and try new things. If your area doesn’t have any clubs that interest you, why not start one of your own? Odds are good that if you have an interest, someone else in the area is likely to share it.
人人都有愛好、激情甚或創意觀點，而這些能通過新奇方式激發你的稟賦或興趣。就算是再小的城市也會有幾個俱樂部。或許你喜歡下棋，希望找人一起切磋技藝；你還可以考慮以前從不曾嘗試的玩意兒：陶藝、寫作、品酒或跳舞都是與人接觸並學習新事物的好辦法。如果附近沒有你感興趣的俱樂部，那何不自己創辦一個呢？當你有某個興趣愛好時，或許周邊的人也會被你帶動起來。
3. Talk to people
與人交談
Isolation is a new hallmark of our paradoxically “connected” society. Between texting, Tweeting, Facebooking, email and the phone, people are more connected than ever before. The problem with all these kinds of communication is that they omit the face-to-face element of socialization.
在這個“密切聯繫”的社會，“隔離”卻諷刺性地成了一個新標誌。隨着短信、推特、臉譜、郵件及電話的普及，人與人之間的聯繫前所未有地頻繁密集。但問題是，所有這些通訊方式都忽略了社交中的“面對面接觸”元素。
This can lead to situations like someone observing, “I have 6,000 friends on Facebook, 4,822 Twitter followers, and who knows how many people watching me on social media…and I don’t have one person I can call to go out for the night!” Try getting out and talking to your neighbors, the cashier at the convenience store, or even total strangers. Ask questions and listen carefully to the answers. This is a great way to make new connections, or maybe meet people who share your interests and hobbies.
這就造成了類似情景：“我在臉譜網上有6000位好友、推特網上有4822個粉絲，而且無數人都能在社交媒體上看到我……可當我晚上想要出去玩時，竟然沒有一個能夠叫上一起去的人！” 因此，請走出去主動和鄰居、便利店收銀員甚至陌生人講講話吧。問幾個問題並認真聽對方解答。這是建立新聯繫或認識志同道合朋友的好方法。
4. Go to the coffee shop
去咖啡店
These days you can’t throw a rock without hitting a coffee shop, especially in the larger cities. Coffee shops are a great place to meet people and make contacts. As with any other social situation, it’s not enough simply to sit there sipping on your venti mochachocafrappalottaccino with half-fat soy and extra espresso. Compliment someone on their purse, their shoes, their tie, or even their laptop. A compliment is a good way to start up a conversation and might just make you a new friend.
現如今，尤其是在大城市，你隨便扔塊石頭就能砸中一家咖啡店。咖啡店是結識朋友的好地方。正如其他社交場合一樣，你不能只坐在那兒純粹喝咖啡，誇兩句別人的包包、鞋子、領帶或電腦本吧。一句讚美的話就是開始交談甚至結識新朋友的好辦法。
5. Be alert to verbal and nonverbal cues
注意口頭及非口頭暗示
90% of all communication is nonverbal, based upon eye contact, body language, facial expression, and unconscious gestures and motions. These cues, when taken with verbal indicators such as word choice, tone of voice, and overall “projection,” create communication. Look for people with positive, open body language. These people carry themselves with their heads erect and make direct eye contact. They don’t keep their hands in their pockets or move aside more than necessary to allow others to pass on the street. A smile could be an invitation to talk. Be ready to accept it!
按照眼神接觸、肢體語言、面部表情和無意識動作來劃分，90%的溝通是非口頭的。這些再加上諸如用詞、聲調、總體“影射”等口頭暗示，即構成了交流。尋找肢體語言積極開放的人，這些人往往昂頭挺胸、不迴避眼神直接接觸；他們不會把手插在口袋裏，或惶惶然給街上的人讓路。一個微笑即表示願意交談，請接受吧！
6. Try nurturing others
嘗試關懷他人
Caring for others matters, even when it’s only done in small ways. Reading to the elderly or being a child or teen mentor is excellent for not only curing your own loneliness, but someone else’s as well. Visiting, conversing with, or reading to the elderly makes them feel more connected and useful, especially if they live in an assisted-care facility.
去關心他人的事情，哪怕只是以細微的方式。爲老人讀書、做小孩或青少年指導員不僅能治癒你自己的孤獨感，還能幫助到他人。看望老人、和老人交談或爲老人讀書，能讓他們感到自己不孤單、還有價值——尤其是當這些老人住在養老院的情況下。
Serving as a child or teen mentor can help you pass on knowledge and information to the next generation, whether it’s practical advice and skills such as how to work a polynomial equation, or giving them life lessons like how to get over a broken heart or dealing with indifferent or unfriendly peers and authority figures. By caring for others, you can also care for yourself by showing you have something of value to contribute to your world and the people in it.
做小孩或青少年指導員能幫你把知識與信息教授給下一代——不論那是諸如怎樣解多項式方程的實際建議和技能，還是像如何度過傷心時刻或怎樣面對冷漠不友好的同伴上級等人生教誨。關心他人的同時，你也在關心自己，表明自己有價值能夠爲社會和他人做貢獻。
7. Get a pet
養一隻寵物
A fuzzy animal like a cat, dog, or even a ferret makes a great companion and confers health benefits. Studies indicate that simply petting an animal reduces blood pressure, anxiety, and may actually be an effective non-medical treatment for certain forms of depression. In addition, the playful antics of a puppy or kitten and the joy of training them to perform various tricks and tasks more than makes up for any inconvenience they may cause while housebreaking.
小貓小狗或雪貂這種毛茸茸的動物都是不錯的夥伴，對人的健康很有好處。研究表明，撫摸動物能降低血壓和焦慮，是治癒某些抑鬱症狀有效的非藥物療法。而且，小狗小貓憨態可掬，訓練它們應對入室盜賊的各種把戲或任務也充滿樂趣，這些足以讓飼養它們而造成的種種不便可以忽略不計了。
If possible, choose a pet from the vast number of rescue animals in shelters around the world. You may just save a life, making you feel even happier about your choice and winning you a loyal companion you’re sure to cherish.
如果可以，就從世界各地的各大動物收容所中挑一隻寵物吧。你不僅救了一條生命，還會爲自己的選擇而感到開心，並且又贏得了一個值得珍惜的忠誠夥伴。
8. Try to figure out what’s missing
弄明白錯失了什麼
The state of being alone simply means no one else is with you. Loneliness, especially when it’s a persistent state, is a warning sign that something essential is absent from your life. The first step to curing the problem is to figure out what’s missing. Do you isolate yourself, by accident or design? Do you work in a career that doesn’t allow for much one-on-one human interaction? Do you have any friends, family, or loved ones you can talk to?
孤單隻表明你身邊沒伴兒。孤獨，尤其是狀態持續很久的話，就說明你的生活缺少某些基本的東西了。解決問題的第一步就是想清楚到底錯失了什麼。你是故意讓自己離羣索居的嗎？你的工作環境不容許面對面交流嗎？你有沒有可以傾訴的親朋好友或至愛？
If the answer to any of these is negative, it’s time to take positive steps to correct that. Join a dating site. Get the contact information for your cousin you haven’t talked to since adolescence. Ask that server at the local diner if she’s free for dinner one night. Even if the answer is no, you’re taking positive steps to alleviate your loneliness.
如果以上問題的答案都比較消極，那你得采取積極行動進行改正了。註冊一個約會網站吧。想辦法聯繫自從長大後就沒講過話的表親吧。問問附近餐廳的服務員今晚有沒有空一起吃個飯吧。就算被拒絕，至少你也在積極克服孤獨了。
9. Is something making you lonely
是不是某件事讓你感到孤獨
Introverts like their own company, but it’s easy to get too much of it. When this happens, ask yourself what’s changed. Are you with someone who makes you feel lonely even when they’re right next to you? Are you in a new town, job, or living space? Do your surroundings or routines feel stale and overdone? What’s making you unhappy with the situation?
內向的人喜歡獨處，但總是一個人也不太好。如果孤獨來襲，請問問自己發生了怎樣的變化。是不是某些人明明就在身邊卻還是讓你感到孤獨呢？你搬到了新城市、換了新工作或住處？是周圍環境或日常瑣事讓你覺得索然無味而難以承受嗎？這種情況下是什麼讓你覺得不快樂？
In some cases, people feel lonely because something is missing. In others, people feel lonely because something needs to be subtracted. This can be harder to identify, because we always try to hold on to the things we believe make us happy and define us. A big part of overcoming loneliness is defining oneself on one’s own terms.
有時候，人們感到孤獨是因爲失去了某些東西；有時候，人們感到孤獨是因爲需要精簡掉某些東西。這很難定義，因爲人們總是試圖緊緊抓住自認爲能夠讓自己開心並定義自己的東西，而戰勝孤獨很大程度上需要用自己的方式去定義自己。
