雙語故事:難以啓齒的"我愛你"
When I was a new teacher in China, every day I taught English to my students and they taught me about China. One day the topic turned to saying: "I love you." I was shocked to learn that not one of my students had said this to their mothers, nor had their mothers said it to them
.初來中國當老師的那會兒，我每天都會給學生上英文課，同時他們也教我瞭解中國。一天我們探討的話題是“說‘我愛你’”。使我感到震驚的是，沒有一個學生對媽媽講過這句話，他們的媽媽也未曾對他們說過。
"Does your mom love you?"
“媽媽愛你嗎？”
"Of course," they chorused, a bit offended that I'd even asked.
“當然，”他們異口同聲，我的問題似乎冒犯了他們。
"How do you know?" was my logical question. They responded that their moms cooked and always told them what they were doing wrong to show their caring. I was stunned. So mom's cooking and criticizing read out as "I love you".
“你怎麼知道的？”我問了一個符合自己邏輯的問題。他們回答說媽媽會做飯給他們吃,常常會告訴他們哪裏出了錯以示關心。我大吃一驚。這樣說來媽媽的飯菜和批評就可以解讀爲“我愛你”。
How do you say "I love you" to her? They agreed that getting good grades, followed by good jobs and then marrying and having that precious grandchild would be how they showed their love.
你如何向她表達“我愛你”？他們一致表明只要取得好成績，找到一份好工作，接下來結婚生子就是他們表達愛的方式。
I come from a culture where most people would find that not expressive enough, so I repeated these queries in classes over time. Gradually, I began to get different responses. Some of them had exchanged those sentiments with their moms.
在我們的文化觀念中，大部分人會覺得僅僅這些表達是不夠的。所以我時常會在課堂上重複這些問題。漸漸地，同學們有了一些不同的迴應。一些人同母親進行了情感溝通。
One of my favorite stories of change came from a young woman. When she came home from university, her mother met her at the door and hugged her. This had never happened before, but her mom said: "Now that you have gone I have more time to myself and I watch TV more. I noticed that in some places mothers and children hug each other and I decided it was a good idea and that I would begin hugging you."
在這些轉變的故事中，我最喜愛的一則發生在一位年輕女士身上。當她從學校回到家中時，媽媽在門口迎接並擁抱了她。這是以前從未有過的事，但媽媽說：“現在你離家在外，我有了更多的時間來看電視節目。我注意到一些地方的媽媽會和子女相互擁抱。這好極了，我決定要開始擁抱你。”
Usually the changes come from the younger generation, but in this case the college student's mother was the agent of change!
轉變通常來自年輕的一代，但在這件事上這位大學生的母親成爲轉變的推動者。
One class included an older man who is a scientist and represents China in prestigious conferences all over the world. He revealed that he had never said those words to his wife, nor had he ever brought her flowers. I teased him that the reason he didn't is because she would be suspicious and ask him what he had done! We all had a laugh, but in fact, he wasn't sure how she would react to such a gesture after so many years.
某班有位年長的男士，身爲科學家的他常代表中國出席國際權威會議。他承認自己從未和妻子有過這樣的對白，也從未送花給她。我打趣說，他不這樣做是因爲妻子會懷疑他是不是做錯了什麼！大家鬨堂大笑，但事實上，經過這麼多年，他不確定妻子面對這樣的行爲會有何反應。
After he left the school, he wrote and told me that on his way to his house he stopped and bought her a bouquet. She was absolutely thrilled, and a new and wonderful way of saying "I love you" was established in their marriage.
結業後，他寫信告訴我回家路上他給妻子買了束花。妻子顯然很激動，在彼此的婚姻中他們重新找到一種說“我愛你”的美妙方式。
Class surveys now reveal that younger women want to hear the magic words. They want romance in their lives. We all applauded the man in his 40s who said he does try to be romantic because it is clearly what his wife wants, although he is still a bit uncomfortable with tender expressions.
學生問卷調查顯示，年輕女性更願意聽到愛情密語。生活中，她們渴望浪漫。我們讚賞那位40歲男士,他也表示自己願意變浪漫是考慮到妻子的心願，儘管對於這樣柔情的表達方式他還是有一點不自在。
Since the women of today now look for that, the men who don't fight past their discomfort may find themselves out in the cold, maybe wondering why.
當代女性普遍希望生活得浪漫一些，這樣一來，那些對於愛難以啓齒的男士們反而會一頭霧水，不知道自己受冷落的原因。
In my family we all say "I love you" a lot. While it is true that we often say the words without having a great depth of feeling at that moment, it is almost like a blessing we give each other. Recently, my daughter died unexpectedly and we are all so glad that the last words she heard from all of us were an almost automatic, "I love you."
在我家，我們經常會把“我愛你”掛在嘴邊。好吧，我承認大多數如此表達的時刻，我們並未用情至深，就好像祝福彼此一樣。最近我的女兒意外去世，我們感到欣慰的是在她彌留之際，聽到最多的是大家近乎本能說出的“我愛你”。
Those three little words carry a world of meaning, even when said as a greeting, but most especially if they are the last words we say to or hear from those we love.
即便只是一個單純的寒暄，這簡單的3個字也意味深長。若成爲愛人間最後的對話，它們的意義更是刻骨銘心。
