雙語暢銷書《艾倫圖靈傳》第4章:彼岸新星(39)
These were not problems that could be solved by reason alone, for they arose by virtue of his physical embodiment in the social world. Indeed, there were no solutions, only muddles and accidents.
At the beginning of February 1937 the offprints of Computable Numbers arrived and some he sent out to personal friends.
1937年2月初，《可計算數》的印刷本寄到了，艾倫把它寄給了一些朋友。One went to Eperson (who had now left Sherborne for the more suitable Church of England), and one to James Atkins, who had now taken up a career as a schoolmaster, and was teaching mathematics at Walsall Grammar School.
有一份給愛普森（他現在已經離開舍爾伯尼了），還有一份給詹姆斯·阿特金斯（他現在在沃爾薩文法學校教數學）。
James also had a letter10 from Alan which described, in a rather detached way, that he had been feeling depressed and mentioned that he had even thought of a scheme for ending his life. It involved an apple and electrical wiring.
艾倫還給詹姆斯寫了一封信，信中非常悲傷地說，他曾經想到了自殺，要用蘋果和電線。Perhaps this was a case of depression after the triumph; the writing of Computable Numbers would have been like a love affair, now over but for mopping-up operations.
這又是一例成功之後的失落，《可計算數》的工作，就像是艾倫的愛情，現在它已經結束了。Now he had the problem of continuing. Had he killed off the spirit? Was his work a 'dead end'?
艾倫現在面臨的問題是，下一步要做什麼。我的精神哪去了？我的研究是不是死衚衕？He had done something, but what was it for?
我做了這些事情是爲了什麼？It was all very well for Bernard Shaw's Ancients to live on truth alone, but it was asking a great deal of him.
這些問題，對於蕭伯納筆下的人來說都很無所謂，但對艾倫來說卻是很嚴重的。Indeed, it was not his ideal. 'As regards the question of why we have bodies at all, why we do not or cannot live free as spirits and communicate as such, we probably could do so but there would be nothing whatever to do.
事實上，這並不是艾倫的理想。艾倫曾經思考過，我們爲什麼要有肉體，爲什麼我們的精神不能獨立地存在和溝通。The body provides something for the spirit to look after and use.'
他認爲也許這是可以的，但這樣就不能做事了，有了肉體我們才能做事。But what was his body to do, without the loss of innocence, or the compromise of truth?
但是現在，他的肉體該做些什麼，才能無損於他的純潔的精神？
